CurrentMom

Not the Corner Office

Truth Thursday

Halleluyah.  An article about mothers who work outside of the home that doesn’t focus in on the so-called “mommy wars” about SAHMs and WOHMs.  One that doesn’t force our hand in the “lean-in” debate. One that doesn’t say that you can’t have a rewarding career without giving up a lot at home, and vice versa.

Instead, the New York Times article last week, entitled, “Coveting Not A Corner Office, But Time At Home” describes my ambition to a tee.  I want a rewarding career, one in which my work is valued and I enjoy my organization’s mission and think my colleagues are interesting, dynamic, complex people with whom to work. I want some modicum of recognition for a job well done, and for a career with a long trajectory of relative success. 

But I don’t want any of it to come at the expense of my family life. My home, with my spouse and children within its four walls, is the sanctuary of my world. I love those four people more than anything else, and their happiness, well-being and success is one of my key objectives. I want to be there as much as I can to enjoy their company, make them dinner, accompany them to their various activities, and cheer them on when they play soccer or field hockey, or win an award, or need a shoulder to cry on, or fail a test, or take a big step in their own ongoing life stories.

I am one of the most fortunate people I know, because I have found a way to have both. Between my more than a decade of consulting work, and now, with a flexible and family friendly office and an understanding supervisor and staff, I have been able to carve out a work life that gives me what I need in the office, as well as supports my need to take care of my family. It almost never asks me to choose between the two.

The Bully Pulpit

Truth Thursday

Defined by Wikipedia, a bully pulpit is “a position sufficiently conspicuous to provide an opportunity to speak out and be listened to.”

It is also “only distantly related to the modern form of "bully", which means "harasser of the weak."

This week, I will write about bullying from the vantage point of my bully pulpit.

I have learned the very sad news that in one of my child’s circle of friends, there is someone being bullied. Bullied so meanly that this child is afraid to walk in the halls in school alone, and cowers until friends, including my child, come to the rescue.

This has all been happening in the last few days of school, and I don’t know what the parents of either child involved are doing about it officially, since it is not my child who is the victim.

But it was me. And when I heard the story, it pushed a button deep inside me and I started to cry. Because I was that child who cowered in the bathroom, who was afraid to walk in the hallways without a posse of friends to protect me, and who never mentioned a word to my parents for an entire school year about what was happening to me at school.

The F Word

Truth Thursday

It’s not what you think, although I am a renowned potty mouth.

And it’s not even what I’ve written about before in many ways – feminism. Although it is in some ways.

It’s about self esteem. It’s about being self conscious. It’s about life, and love, and what I wore.

It’s about being … fat.

I had been thinking about writing this even before the latest skirmish in the fat wars.  Not the "obesity” wars, which are all about keeping our children healthy, Michelle Obama, the war on food insecurity and food deserts, economic privilege and social gaps – all guised in the mantra that we are trying to be more healthy as a nation.

No, the fat wars. In which one complete and total bully, who is 61-years-old and still hasn’t figured out that words hurt, or that being the tallest, the skinniest, the most beautiful is not what our children should be striving for in this world, has decided that his clothing should not be modeled by anyone over a size Medium.

This is what Abercrombie CEO Mark Jeffries has said about his stores:  “We go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong.”

In other words, no one fat. No one who needs a Large or, god forbid, and Extra Large size. You will not find them at Abercrombie. He has been quoted as saying that he doesn't want fat chicks shopping in his store. Really.

How To Talk to Your Kids About Climate Change

Guest post by Chuck McCutcheon

With Earth Day here, and summertime following after that, more attention will be paid to the problem of climate change. But even for adults, it can be a confusing topic. Too many Americans still don't believe it exists, and even among those who do, there's a tendency to think that a period of colder-than-usual weather means that the effects of climate change are exaggerated.

As someone who has written a critically acclaimed book for students aged 9 and older, and who has given lectures at schools around the country, I'd like to offer a few helpful areas to emphasize, based on the questions that I most often get asked.

Climate change is real, and people are causing it. There is no debate about this among international scientists. If you or anyone you know doubts this, please look at Grist.org's handy guide. But if your children are confused, you can simply tell them that science is not just like math; it doesn't always produces a single, universally agreed-on answer.

Global warming is a part – arguably the major part – of climate change. Global warming refers to the increase in the average temperature of the earth over several years or decades. Climate change refers to global warming as well as other changes in climate, like more common and intense extreme weather, and a rise in sea levels.

Manic Monday

Truth Thursday

Oh god, it’s happened again. A terrible news story, a la 9-11, a la Newtown, that marks the end of what started as a normal Monday.

This time in Boston. Two bombs. Three people dead. Two more undetonated bombs destroyed. At least a hundred people injured. Scores more probably to come. And a nation finding itself, once more, grieving.

This is a different world than the one I grew up in. Back then, the violence and carnage was always far away, overseas (except, of course, for the civil rights movement, and the ugly and ferocious backlash against those who were fighting for their rights on our own soil.)

We thought that by living on a continent buttressed by two oceans and two friendly neighbors we would be protected forever. We thought that the stirring words of our forefathers – enshrined in the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution – proclaiming ours a shining democracy, one in which all would be equal under the law, would shield us from the horror of chaotic, despotic governments, of the hate and ignominy of the world outside our borders.

We were wrong.

For over a decade, we have lived with the now-deeply-embedded muscle memory of fear. Fear that there are forces out there that hate us, that are beyond our scope of protection. Fear that we will perhaps someday be the target of something so huge, so protracted, that Armageddon will ensue.

So we keep emergency evacuation kits near our front doors. We know the best routes out of our towns. We have plans solidified as to where to meet our family members if an attack shuts down the normal workings of our city.