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Good Grief

Truth Thursday

The American Psychiatric Association is in the midst of a controversy around the updating of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or D.S.M., psychiatry’s official tool for deciding between mental disorders and “normality.” 

Apparently, the DSM-5 is preparing to classify grief from the death of a loved one as clinical depression, as early as two weeks after the loss.  The change eliminates the so-called “bereavement exclusion,” which exempts grieving people from diagnoses of depression for two months unless their symptoms are self-destructively extreme.

The change was first proposed over a year ago, and there has been a hue and cry in psychiatric circles about this change in classification.  The controversy has yet to die down, and the D.S.M. 5 will not be published until May. 

Opponents of the classification change worry that it is an easy way to simply medicate people to ease their pain, when in fact, the need for processing, perhaps coupled with talk therapy and simply time is usually the best way to move through profound loss. 

I haven’t been in therapy in many years, but my understanding is that there is a movement towards medicating for even what could be classified as mild depression, rather than spending months on the couch working out your problems through talk and analysis. My hunch is that this has to do with the movement in our quite-broken health care and insurance system, the same one that moves women who have had babies onto the conveyor belt out of the hospital the same day they give birth, or, when generous, the next.

In other words, a quick fix for something that probably could benefit from a little more time.

Brussels Sprouts -- Both Good for You and Good

Meal Monday

Brussels sprouts are some of those much maligned vegetables that never seem to be on the top of anyone's list (except the list of one of my sisters-in-law, but I'm afraid she's unusual). And until recently, I had to agree with the naysayers -- Brussels sprouts were in the wax bean (horrific) category in my book.

However, I have revised my opinion of the teeny weeny cabbages and now like them roasted, grilled and even raw. Yes, raw, as in a salad.

The other day at Trader Joe's (one of my many favorite supermarkets, see So Many Stores, So Little Time), I discovered bagged, shaved Brussels sprouts. Wow -- who would have guessed a market existed for this? But I was so excited, I grabbed two bags and tossed them in my cart.

When I got home, I combined the shaved sprouts with some prosciutto and pine nuts and tossed it all with a homemade lime dressing. My family was asking for more, and with Brussels sprouts, I consider that a significant accomplishment!

If you can't find packaged shaved Brussels sprouts, just slice or shave your own. This can be prepared a couple of hours in advance, just dress it about ten minutes before serving to maintain crispness.

Brussels Sprouts Salad

1-2 bags shaved Brussels sprouts

1/4 cup pine nuts (roasted slivered or shaved almonds would work nicely too)

1/8 cup small, torn pieces of prosciutto (bacon bits would work as a substitute)

1/3 cup olive oil

juice of one lime

celery salt

fresh ground pepper

 

1. Wash and pat dry Brussels sprouts and put in a large salad bowl.

2. Add nuts and prosciutto.

3. Pour oil into a bowl, add fresh lime juice, celery salt and pepper and whisk quickly until dressing emulsifies.

4. Toss salad with dressing and serve.

 

The Power of the Pause - Unplugging in a Plugged-In World

Truth Thursday

Today on my train ride to New York, I sat across the aisle from a man who had out his laptop, his iPad and his iPhone, and he was using all three at once. I wasn’t clear on what he was really doing (it actually sounded like he was on the phone with a tech expert, trying to fix some password on his iPad) but he clearly thought he was being incredibly productive with all his technology at his fingertips on the go.

I, on the other hand, read two paper newspapers cover to cover and the first essay in a (paperback) book of literary essays I’ve been meaning to get to for a while. It was a gorgeous piece, about scent, memory and longing.

I didn’t look at my agendas for my meetings, and I didn’t answer any emails (as I did have my phone with me.) I spent three and a half hours sitting and thinking, reading for pleasure, and preparing myself mentally for a long day of meetings, but without electronics.

It felt both a little slothful and absolutely delightful.

There is a part of me that salivates over having a new gadget. I want an iPad so that I don’t have to schlep my laptop when I travel overseas.  I want a new iPhone since my 3GS is moving pretty slowly after almost two years. I love my iMac – it makes typing on my computer a pleasurable, tactile experience.

But I also fall on the other side of the technology trap. I have tried using an e-reader, but really prefer reading books – I like looking at their covers, feeling their pages, turning down a corner on something I want to remember. I like closing the book after reading the final page and the sense of satisfaction that comes with putting it on the shelf.

My Funny Valentine

Truth Thursday 

I’m not usually a fan of Hallmark card holidays. Mother’s and Father’s Day? Meh. St. Patrick’s Day? Guess that’s more of a parade holiday, but still, meh. Teacher’s Day? Administrative Professional's (aka Secretary's) Day? Nothing.

But Valentine’s Day. Oh, Valentine’s Day is a little bit different for me. Given its proximity to my birthday (as in, The-Day-Before), I have always thought of Valentine’s Day as my extra birthday day. All that pink and red splashing around in the heart of a dark, cold February? That’s for me, thank you very much.

When I was growing up, my mother would leave my sister and me Valentine’s Day cards and chocolates on the kitchen table in the morning. It was, for me, a portend of what was to come the next day – a tasting, if you will, of a wonderful birthday present. And since anyone who knows me knows that my bloodstream is infused with chocolate, it was an appropriate amuse bouche.

Today, a day away from a big birthday, I think of Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to think of all the little valentines that exist in my life. Not so much the people I love – my husband, children, family and friends without whom nothing would matter. I am thankful for them every minute of every day.

No, today I am thinking of the little pockets of grace that make my life more beautiful. Those random places and things that touch me, feed me and make me smile. So here is my valentine ode to that which makes me happy.

The Love Affair: Stuffed Eggplant with Beef and Pine Nuts Recipe

Meal Monday

My life is pretty busy. Three four-year-olds, two schools, one house. I don't have a lot of space in my life for much more.

Then my husband bought me Jerusalem by Yotam Ottolenghi and Sami Tamimi. One look at that cookbook changed things. Suddenly I had time to cook. And cook. And cook.

Now I am obsessed. In the few months that cookbook has been in my possession, I have tried only one recipe from another source. That is because the recipes in Jerusalem are that good. Interesting flavors abound. Simple preparations predominate. Gorgeous photos entice. It is cookbook nirvana.

With Yotam and Sami, I have done things in the kitchen I never imagined doing. Like cooking chicken with skin and bones. And ground beef. I have ventured outside my comfort zone. And I won't be turning back.