CurrentMom

Parting Ways

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by: dcjohn

"All good things come to an end."  

"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

The Long Goodbye...

As tried and true as these phrases are, there is a reason that they endure. Something humans are innately poor at is saying goodbye. We avoid it, we deny it, or we convince ourselves that it's just "see you later."

There is something final about goodbye. And our goodbyes build on one another throughout our lives. There is an aspect to parting that is akin to a loss. Perhaps its temporary in terms of timing, or more permanent. (By the way, loss doesn't have to equate to death, although those are very deep losses that we feel).

We lose something when we part ways. It might be company, memories, fun, or something else. Yet we also gain. Saying goodbye can mean emotionally paring down of who matters to you. And not all goodbyes must be sad or fill us with longing. Sometimes, we can't wait for goodbye (like leaving a job that we have not enjoyed, or family that we don't get along with). No matter the reaction, goodbyes are telling.

So why is it important to make a deal of goodbyes? For the superstitious there is the rationale that you might not see that person again. For the sentimental, it might be getting your feelings across. Both of these positions can be potentially vulnerable. Human beings don't seek out to be vulnerable. It's uncomfortable to say the least. I would argue that saying goodbye helps to neutralize feelings of loss and to normalize them. It allows us to practice being uncomfortable (even for a second) so that we have tools to call on when the goodbye is of a more permanent nature.

It is in the spirit of goodbye and wanting a definitive ending that I let you all know that this is my last post as a regular contributor for CurrentMom. I'm leaving open the possibility of being a Guest Blogger, but in looking at my schedule, I am unable to continue regularly blogging. I have enjoyed (as I hope you have) blogging and my forays into the blogosphere. Hopefully my words have been helpful in some way.

I wish everyone a peaceful holiday and a wonderful new year. 

Baking Therapy: Snowflake Cookies Make Great Gifts

Meal Monday

Although nothing can -- or should -- distract from our anguish over the Newtown shooting last week, I spent most of the weekend baking cookies. As trite as it may sound, the familiar ritual of creating something sweet to eat with my children was comforting and simple.

I use these snowflake cookies as teacher gifts every December and this year, I am even more grateful for the care and compassion teachers show for our children. As evidenced by the actions of the Sandy Hook Elementary School teachers and administrators in Newtown, CT, teaching requires incredible selflessness. We are all in debt to our own teachers and our children's teachers.

The End of the Consulting Line

Truth Thursday

As the countdown continues towards my returning to a full-time work schedule, I had a vision today of why I am still feeling reluctant to take the final plunge.

It’s kind of like taming a wild horse. She goes down kicking and screaming and whinnying. But ultimately, she goes down.

Anyone who has successfully worked for themselves knows the thrill of landing a new project, a new business contact, a new client. They understand the sense of satisfaction of doing it yourself, and not being reliant on anyone else’s timetable. The enormous relief of not being beholden to any boss but yourself, and a sense of freedom that you can never achieve at a 9-to-5 job.

Only someone who has been their own boss understands the fun in the complexity of figuring out how many client projects you can juggle in one week. Of the joy in networking that leads to a gig. Of the pleasure of commuting to your living room, and only committing to outside meetings when it's not rush hour. And then there's the added bonus of being able to exercise mid-day, and get much needed sunlight during the winter. (There's little more awful than being stuck inside a windowless office all day with nothing but florescent lights, dark when you leave in the morning and dark when you come home.)

Of course, there are also the down sides. The drop in the pit of your stomach, like being on a roller coaster ride, the first time (and the second and the third and the fourth) when you realize that you don’t necessarily know when your next check will come in. Or IF it will come in – will that new client adhere to the contract and pay on time?  There is also the feeling of never, ever truly being away on vacation. Your clients might need you, and they can easily rip the rug out from underneath you if you’re not available – you’re much more expendable than a staff person.

Food & Friends: Cranberry Crumb Bars with Mulling Spices Recipe

Meal Monday

Once upon a time when I worked in an office, I had down time. In between assignments I would check my email, IM with friends, and, as it was the mid-aughts, read blogs.

I quickly became obsessed with food blogs. As a person who loves to cook and bake, it was a great way to access home cook-approved recipes.

But I liked the blogs for more than just the recipes. I liked the writing. I liked the personalities behind the writing. Even though I never commented or reached out to any of these bloggers, I felt camaraderie with them.

So I've been reading Deb, Luisa, Heidi, and Molly (yes, we are on a first-name basis) for years. While I got a lot of good recipes from them, they all got book deals.

Petty moment passes.

December Cheer

Truth Thursday

Chanukah is early this year. Which means lots of pressure to have it all taken care of long before the bigger D-Day for most of America – December 25^th. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I need to think about and plan for eight nights of a holiday in my house that is a modest gift-giving time and also try to make it as special as possible so that no one feels like they’ve somehow gotten a bum rap by not being part of family that celebrates with Santa.

We’ve got the HiHos; they’ve got the ho ho hos. Chanukah just can’t compete, and it’s not supposed to. Unlike what most of the non-Jewish (and Jewish) world thinks, Chanukah is not the Jewish alternative to Christmas. It’s really only a minor historical holiday that has taken on great meaning and proportions in this country so that Jewish boys and girls don’t feel forlorn by missing out on tinsel and mistletoe and evergreen trees with shiny ornaments.

As soon as my daughter learned how to talk, she divided the world in two – you were either Jewish or you were Christmas. And who could blame her? A little brass candelabra simply can’t stand up to a 6-foot tall Christmas tree ablaze with lights. And don’t get me started on the Passover versus Easter debate. You go down the aisles in the supermarket at Easter time and it’s all lilac and yellow and pretty eggs and chicks and lambs and chocolate and Peeps.  You go down the aisle with the Passover food (if you can even find it) and it’s brown. And more brown. With matzah. Yum.

I have long felt some guilt (or is that gelt?) around the fact that, although I was raised in a house with a Jewish mother, she was a mother with a Christmas complex. I had the tree, the tinsel, the Yule log, and the presents (and a non-Jewish father which made it all kosher … as it were.) We lit a menorah on the side … and got another present.