Daddy the Super Hero

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by: Julie

Typically, this blog focuses on moms.  Today, we are shifting to dad. We expect a lot from our dads. They are the providers. They make us feel secure in a warm embrace. They clean up our messes (literally and figuratively). For all of this and more, we give them one day to say thanks.

Often, women feel like they have the be the superhero in the family: many work, and then come home to The Job 2.0 (also known as children and the house). More and more households are feeling that the division of labor is more equal than in previous generations. Although, housework is still considered to be a major stressor in relationships. What gives with this shift?

Many women are demanding that their significant others pick up their weight--and not just in the traditional tasks of yard work or heavy lifting. There has been a cultural shift with men too in that they are being taught to be a part of the family unit, not just the co-creator of it. Men are getting more "down and dirty" with kids and being active with them from the delivery room on.

With such great changes coming at a cultural level, other shifts are resulting, such as more mental health issues in men. Typically, men are far less likely than women to seek out help if there is a mental health concern. They continue to have the antiquated tendency to "buck up" and deal with it. NIMH has recently come out with a brochure for what depression looks like in men.

It's interesting that we continue to put both genders on a pedestal with the expectation that one will be the superhero. Sometimes, this rotates within a family. Either way, it puts a lot of pressure on the parent who is wearing the "cape." Part of putting away the cape might be to expect more of your children when it comes to the daily chores. You would be surprised at what a 4-year-old is actually capable of doing (although I'm sure you will hear contrary from said 4-year-old).

Who wears the cape in your family?

Comments

[Melody Bakeeff]

I am very guilty of not giving my daughter more to do and thus 'wearing the cape'. My husband does most of the actual 'jobs' in our business and that means he can be gone odd hours or home more often at times. I don't mind him not have a regular schedule and 'pitching in' the way I might see it in my ideal world - but my daughter is there a lot more often!