What To Expect From Your Neighbors When You're Homeschooling

Nobody was more surprised than I about my decision to homeschool my child.  After all, I had researched the school system thoroughly before deciding to purchase a home in my community, one known for its excellent schools.  Nevertheless, I found myself thrust rather suddenly into this fascinating world of nontraditional education.  What has fascinated me most, however, is the various reactions from my neighbors.  Here are the top five:

1.  Confused.  “Funny, you don’t look like the homeschooling type.”  Oh, right.  Apparently, the stereotypical homeschooler is dowdy and out of touch.  She sees no need to keep up with current fashions and rarely sees the inside of a hair & nail salon.  So, alas, my neighbors are confused by my penchant for J.Crew clothing and mani/pedi’s.

2.  Curious.   “Oh!  So, you want to pursue a religious education?”  As if!  I didn’t realize until recently that folks who complain about the lack of prayer in schools often turn to homeschooling.  They want to teach creationism or otherwise reinforce the tenets of their religion.  Anyone who knows me KNOWS that this couldn’t be further from the truth!  I mean, I worship at the altar of cable television.  So, if anything, my child will learn the tenets of HBO and Comedy Central.

3.   Mortified.  “Oh my goodness!  So you don’t like the school?  Who was your child’s teacher?”   What they're really saying is:  “I’m paying a fortune in taxes to live in this community!  We're in a highly reputable school district!  What the hell do you mean the school is not good enough?!!!  Well, perhaps your child's teacher was a fluke.  Now I just want that teacher's name so I can warn my friends about him or her."

4.  Condescending.  No words.  Just a look that translates to: "Yeah, good luck with that."  After fumbling for words, these neighbors typically launch into to the age-old argument about the need for socialization, which they erroneously believe homeschooling parents cannot offer.  Interestingly, a few neighbors question whether I have the adequate resources to provide my child with a quality education.  Perhaps this is because I am African-American and they are not.  After all, a significant number of African-American children who attend school with their children would be considered underprivileged.  So, I can't help but wonder if my neighbors subconsciously believe that I am underexposed, undereducated, and (thus) ill-equipped to homeschool.

5.  Relieved.  Again, no words.  Just a sound.  It happens whenever I decide to share my real reasons for choosing to homeschool.  My neighbors breathe a loud sigh of relief.  They are comforted in the realization that I have not rejected or passed judgment on their children's school.

In reality, most parents know that not every school is a good fit for every kid.  And most of my neighbors eventually come to support my decision to homeschool.  Still, if you decide to go this route, be prepared for a variety of reactions like the ones above.  But at least you have a built-in opportunity to enhance your homeschool curriculum.  Among other things, you can chart their responses to teach your child about statistical surveys and (ahem) social studies. 

--RH

Photo credit: Grant Cochrane

Comments

[E]

I guess I'm just curious if neighbors ever report you to CPS or police for truancy (or anything else) due to concerns over your child's welfare? I had one idiot neighbor call the cops because my 2 year old was screeching in her carseat (the cops were understanding, but... seriously??) I want to homeschool, but am concerned about false/misguided reports. I already had one person lie like the dickens to get me in trouble with CPS over breastfeeding my baby, and it took almost a year to get out from under that mess, and thousands of dollars.

[Rogue Housewife]

E: Gee, I'm sorry this is happening to you. Perhaps you are not in the right community for your family. I hope you are able to do whatever you reasonably believe is in the best interest of your child.

FGV: I know. (Sigh.)

[Bransons Nantucket]

This way you have a built-in opportunity to enhance your homeschool curriculum. Among other things, you can chart their responses to teach your child about statistical surveys

[Lori]

one you forgot:  "oh .. well, since you'll be home, could you [sign for a package, give my dog his medicine, let my child come over after school, water my plants, wait for my cable guy...]"

;o)

[Rogue Housewife]

Ahhh, yes! Forgot about that one!

[Melody Bakeeff]

I almost went this route, myself. In my particular case, my daughter has no other people in her immediate area to play with so I am sure it would have been a fairly short conversation with most neighbors. It was family members who gave the sort of reactions you're talking about when I mentioned thinking about it - especially the 'condescending' one; most particularly about the socialization aspect.
Of course, my response would be a flippant one about how I can teach her just as well about sex and guns as her classmates could. Probably better. ;-)

[Rogue Housewife]

Love your flippant response Melody!

[S]

Love this! I get a lot of the "Wow, you're brave for doing that..." Gotta love the lazy soccer moms that can't wait until their kids are all in school so they can sit around the house all day and have "me" time.

[confessionsofanimperfecthomeschooler]

We do homeschool on a Religious Exemption....HOWEVER....we STILL get the CRAZY looks....and the " do you really think they're learning what they should be?" yea...I blogged about that one, you could appreciate it AHAHAH it was a RANT and a half!

OH...and YOU MUST HAVE THE PATIENCE OF JOB.....big fat yea right- I might be a Christian but I'm by no means patient OR perfect.....SHEEEEEEESH.