CurrentMom

A Morning Walk: Encyclopedia Brown, Trayvon Martin and a Question of Race

Truth Thursday

Idaville, which is in Anywhere, USA, has captured the mind of my 10-year-old son these days. Instead of being nose-deep in The Hunger Games or even Harry Potter, his imagination has been tickled of late by the mystery adventures of Encyclopedia Brown, Boy Detective.

On our walk to school this morning, he told me that he wanted to live in Idaville. When I asked him why, he responded, “It has so many criminals! And I want to help capture them!”

For those who don’t know them, the Encyclopedia Brown books are about a brilliant young boy whose father is chief of the Idaville police force, and Encyclopedia uses his encyclopedia-like brain to help his dad solve all the local mysteries. At the end of each story, the reader is asked to try to solve the mystery and catch the criminal. There is seemingly a great deal of crime in Idaville, America, and my son has been bending his brain to try to figure it all out.

A few minutes after this conversation, a local police car drove by us, and my son turned to me with a big smile and said, “You know what I like to do? I like to wave to police officers as they drive by.”

Put two and two together, and you have a recipe for an imaginative young boy who feels smart enough (like his hero, Encyclopedia Brown) to solve criminal mysteries, and trusting enough of the police force to know that they will back him up in his quest.

My guess is that Trayvon Martin did not make the same equation in his mind.

Life on the Highway: When Career Track and Mommy Track Merge

Work Wednesday

Guest post by Wendy Levitt.

Last month my daughter turned eleven. Of course, I celebrated her. Her birthday, her life, her friends. But I celebrated something else, too. Last month I celebrated my eleventh anniversary of motherhood. I had to laugh. Eleven years ago it never would have occurred to me to view motherhood as an accomplishment. 

Eleven years ago I was a career woman with a rising star. When I wasn't working, I was talking about work. Thinking about work. Dreaming about work. When I closed my eyes I saw PowerPoint slides. I was -- as my mother frequently reminded me -- someone who had too much potential to stay at home and be "just" a mom.  

Eleven years later I can finally appreciate that motherhood is more than being "just" a mom. But eleven years ago, I didn't know. Eleven years ago I was flat on my back in nothing but a paper gown and way-too-huge maternity bra. My water-balloon belly poked straight into the air. "My baby." I rubbed the side of my belly affectionately with one hand and tapped the keys on my BlackBerry with the other, doing a quick search to make sure I'd locked the times for our mommy-and-me classes so no one could double book me into a meeting -- unless it was really important.

When my exam was over, I only had one question, "Can I be induced the Friday after next?" I'd blocked the entire afternoon. The plan (yes, I really thought this) was to deliver on Friday and be ready for conference calls the following Monday. 

The Making of a Milestone

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by: Lars F

In the past few weeks, it's been particularly hard to parent amidst the news chatter that we all invariably soak up. (Despite many of my attempts to ignore the news, it seems to creep in on me). It seems nearly impossible, for example, to not share in one of a parent's greatest nightmare as in Trayvon's death.

But I'm determined to keep this post upbeat. Or at least upbeat in its trivialities. Part of our daily balance is to help filter our internal dramas from those in the outside world. The external incidents can make us freeze up and be paralyzed emotionally. I want to celebrate a milestone that occurred not directly with one of my children, but for me as a parent.

In making plans for this past weekend, I received an email from a parent in my son's class. She suggested a play-date, and we were able to arrange the details. I arrived at her house with both kids in tow, as I figured I would give my husband a few hours to get some stuff done. I hadn't met these parents beyond in passing at school, but I figured I'd enjoy getting to know new people. After some pleasantries, the other mother said, "So, do you want to pick him up at 5:30? I figure any sooner, and my son will be upset."  In that moment, it was like angels in heaven started to sing.

I had scored what seemed to be the unobtainable: The Drop-Off Play-date. This was a huge parental milestone--it meant that I didn't have to be saddled to all of my son's plans. (Fortunately, I still have a few more years of dual play-dates). 

We are so consumed with the milestones of our children--are they on time, appropriate, and all other measures of normal. We tend to overlook the parallel milestones that occur in parents. Often, these are far more subtle: going out on a date night, the drop off play-date, the drop off birthday party...

What are some of your parental milestones that you have acheived or look forward to?

It's Easy Being Green: Spring Soup with Poached Eggs

Meal Monday 

Okay, I have no shame in admitting that I take my recipes where I can find them. My sources over the years have included novels (first time I ever read about zabaglione and had to make it right away -- still a favorite!), food packages and magazines. I even snag good recipes and ideas from sales catalogues.

Recently, while browsing the Williams-Sonoma catalogue, I came across a recipe for Asparagus Soup with Poached Eggs.  The catalogue version was none-too-subtly designed to sell a gadget that includes a "stir function." Haha! Whenever I saw that, I just used my trusty wooden spoon.

For pureeing, I do have a handheld blender that is incredibly useful (and was very inexpensive), because in the olden days when I would transfer soup to my Cuisinart, it would somehow always end up as a huge mess leaking everywhere.  

I want kids parties to be on Facebook!

Family Friday

I know in my reality at least, if you're having an event you invite folks on Facebook. Depending on the event, you might not put out paper invitations at all. The sellers of all things party might not appreciate it much but just look at the newspaper industry - your days are numbered, too.

Of course, most of these events still happen in the real world. You're expected to attend and interract with other people. Mostly, I'm ok with that. I run a sci-fi meetup that brings me into physical contact with other humans, in addition to other related events. 

When it comes to kids' birthday parties though, my shoes fill with lead. 

Let's face it - unless you're perhaps one of those moms living vicariously through your child, just about everyone I've ever ran into at a kids birthday party would rather be anywhere else. The running, the screaming, the expense. Even Christmas doesn't compare for most people unless they have a giant gift-giving swap with all the relatives on Christmas morning. 

The kids have fun, it's true. They see their friends, they play, sugar is consumed in mass quantities and they (hopefully) run around and play some more. For them, it's a giant holiday. With presents. And cake.

For us, it's a bottle of excedrin and/or a few alcoholic drinks of choice. 

But fear not! I have a solution. Social Media.

'But the kids won't be able to play together!' You say. If they are old enough, they are probably on Facebook, too. If not, they might all play the same online game - let them play it together. If your kids are of a toddler age, well, there's Clara Beane to help you feel just a little bit better about yourself. 

If you belong to the tech elite, you probaby have a Google+ account. Great! Just start a hangout with those you want to invite and get the party started. Everyone can be involved and no one has to complain about not having their preferred flavor of cake.

Of course, I realize this will probably never happen. Unless global warming and climate disaster force us to live entirely indoors, humans will still have the desire to venture out into the world and connect with each other in person. Struggling as they might be, we still have malls. Parks are visited quite frequently. And though I try very hard to avoid the place, our Chuck E Cheese here usually has a pretty full parking lot. 

So, invite me. I know you will. I'll even accept, if only because my daughter is always in the mood to run around and ingest as much sugar as her diabetic body can handle on special occasions. 

Just don't be surprised if I have my iPhone in one hand and a wine glass in the other.