CurrentMom

A Little Perspective

Fatherhood Friday

Having a newborn to go along with our almost-three year old and eight year old has been quite an adjustment. New routines, lots of sleep-deprived people in the house, tough to make plans beyond tomorrow, etc. We have no regrets about our family expansion plan, though it does seem like things have been real stressful for a few months now.

Last night I attended a program about homelessness. I’ll be honest – this is a topic I really haven’t thought about much. I suspect many of my colleagues and friends in attendance haven’t either, especially as one of the presenters described homelessness in our community as a “hidden” problem.

I’m not going to get into the details – this isn’t the space for that conversation. Suffice to say I was pretty moved by what I heard – stories of hardship and stories of humanity and everyday heroes. But the stories that probably touched me the most were about the children in our community who are impacted by homelessness. In a school year that is only halfway over our local urban school district has already dealt with over 2300 students who have been homeless to one extent or another. That’s not a misprint – 2300. They have a position in the school district of “Homeless Coordinator.” Growing up in my suburban school district I’m pretty sure we didn’t have one of those.

As I was driving home I was of course thinking about the challenges the community and these families face. Then I was thinking about the feelings of stress we’ve had in our home lately. It kind of put things in perspective.

That doesn’t mean that our feelings of stress were any less valid. But it did serve as a reminder about not taking things for granted. (As a side note, I think its quite easy for people who grew up or who today live in privilege to look at the world around them and feel guilty for having so many luxuries, let alone basics, that people right around the corner, or around the world, are lacking. I’m not suggesting we should feel guilty for having these luxuries, or feel guilty for feeling stressed about our lives. I am suggesting that it offers some perspective. If you want to read a really good book on the topic, check out “Life is What You Make It,” by Peter Buffett - son of Warren.)

This morning when I was hanging out with my eight year old, last night’s topic was on my mind. I decided to share it with him. I wanted him to know that a problem in our community touched me and I wanted to see if he was interested in doing something about it with me.

I’m not sure what I was expecting his reaction to be. He seemed very moved by the stories about kids and homelessness, but he didn’t know what to do with the information. So he excused himself to go to the bathroom!

I think I still want to explore this topic with him, thought it got me thinking about the idea of bringing up serious topics with kids in general. What’s the right age? How do you do it? Would love to hear about some of the “deep” topic conversations you’ve had with your kids.

(Photo Credit: http://extension.unh.edu/fhgec/images/father-son-talk_web.jpg)

Modern Family

Truth Thursday

Being a product of the 1970s, I can sing the theme songs to any number of mind-numbing, puerile television shows, as can most Americans who are around my age.  

Gilligan’s Island. Green Acres. Petticoat Junction. Family Affair. F Troop. H.R. Pufnstuf. The Addams Family. Even The Patty Duke Show. (and I worry about how much TV my kids watch?!)

And then there was the mother of them all ... The Brady Bunch. 

When I was 10, I lived for the Brady Bunch. I wanted to be the Brady Bunch. I had a profound crush on Peter, knowing that most other girls were in love with Greg, so perhaps I had a chance. I sighed with Marcia, cried with Jan, and wished I had corkscrew curls like Cindy. I never quite understood the little flips in Carol’s hair, or why, as a stay-at-home mom, she needed a full-time housekeeper (although I have a better idea today what it must have been like to care for six children. And Tiger. Maybe there was valium in that medicine cabinet after all.) 

I dreamed about having a groovy California staircase with no risers and a dad who would wear bell bottoms. And having two parents who would sit down with me whenever I had even the slightest problem in school. 

Oh, the Brady Bunch. The way a family was supposed to be. 

In my house, not so much. 

On the Job, It’s the Little Things That Count

Work Wednesday

A few years ago, my husband had a job that he hated. It seemed like every day he would come home in a depressed funk. I couldn’t understand it. The pay was good, the commute was short, the work was interesting, and his coworkers were nice. So what on earth was his problem? 

It started out as a few minor annoyances. Arriving at the main parking garage one minute after 8 a.m. meant having to park in a garage a half mile away.  Oh well. A little walk is good for the health, right? Then there was the absence of a water cooler. Employees had to supply their own bottled or filtered water if they wanted it. But there wasn’t enough space to store large bottles of water, and managing the “water club” dues was a bothersome task. 

Pretty soon, the minor annoyances coalesced into a tidal wave of bitterness and low morale.

Stress in America

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by:  bottled_void

Last week, the American Psychological Association released their annual survey looking at our Nation's pulse. Literally. The study is geared towards assessing America's Stress levels.  Where do we stand? The good news: stress hasn't risen much in the last year, despite continued economic uncertainty, political unrest, and all the rest that this country is dealing with. In fact, the survey showed that we only feel we have an average of slightly above healthy levels of stress. The study also showed that stress is linked to our physical well being.

So that's well and good. But how do we identify stress? What is it? Stress is something that is part of our lives. We need it. This "good" kind of stress is called eustress. It is what helps us achieve and push ourselves. It's why we study for exams. Or feel a little nervous before a presentation. When stress becomes too much, it's "bad" stress or distress. That is the stress that the survey is looking at. And it's this kind of stress that I'm referring to.  

By some people's measures, I should feel stress: after all, I'm balancing raising two children (one of whom is a baby), my own business, dealing with others emotions on a daily basis (the nature of my job), financial pressures, parents growing older, etc. But I don't feel burdened by stress. Let me take that back: mostly, I don't notice it. But I was really aware of it over the holidays.

It just felt like everything was going quickly, and I couldn't keep up. I felt like things were slipping through the cracks and I was missing things. I actually enjoyed the days off that I took--where things basically stopped and there weren't expectations of me. In those moments, I realized that I was stressed--at least by comparison.

That's when I needed to figure out how to take care of myself. So I learned and practiced daily meditation.  I only get done what I can do. I try to protect my sleep. I attempt to eat well. Of course, I don't ALWAYS get it right. So I try to allow that to be OK. I also try to let people know when I'm feeling overwhelmed...small examples such as when I am in the middle of doing something, and I'm asked to do something else, I try to acknowledge that I'm at my limit (if I am) and I can get to the other task when I'm done. Again, easier said than done. But I am enjoying being a work in progress.     

How do you deal with your stress? When are you able to figure out that it's too much?

Multicultural Chicken Soup: Cold Comfort Shortcut

Meal Monday 

There are many wonderful things about living in New England: history, education, culture, foliage, etc. The perennial nasty winter viruses do not make the list. We have been battling a head cold in our house and in order to expedite its exit, I turned to that time-honored panacea: chicken soup.

I know, I know, you're supposed to use a whole chicken and let it simmer for hours and hours and then strain it and reduce it and basically take the home culinary equivalent of WAY TOO MUCH TIME to make some soup. And in my experience, I always need to add salt or even a bouillon cube after all that effort anyway. Sooooo embarrassing.

Last night, in a burst of sniffly Sunday night coziness, I "cheated" and made a delicious chicken soup that I'm dubbing "multicultural." The cheating part is the store-bought organic low sodium chicken stock I used as a base. I also used boneless chicken breasts that I oven roasted, cut up and added to the soup. 

Those two steps saved countless hours. I consider it multicultural because I added pasta (Italian), fresh ginger root (pan Asian), scallions (everywhere) and cilantro (Mexican or Vietnamese). Next time, I may sub in matzo balls (Jewish) for the pasta.

Regardless, this is very satisfying comfort food that comprises a meal accompanied by a salad and bread or breadsticks. Sniffles begone. 

 

Multicultural Chicken Soup 

1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast

3 quarts chicken broth

1 cup Acini di Pepe pasta

1 carrot, sliced into small rounds

1 stalk of celery, sliced 

three scallions, thinly sliced (whites and about three inches of the green)

1 1/2 tbsp peeled and sliced fresh ginger root

fresh cilantro

salt and pepper

 

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Season the chicken breasts with salt and pepper and roast until done, about 30-40 minutes, depending on the thickness of the meat. 

2. Remove chicken from the oven and let cool. When ready, cut into bite size pieces.

3. In a large stockpot or Dutch oven, heat the chicken broth to boiling over medium heat. 

4. Add the pasta and let cook for 8 minutes, then turn heat down to medium low or low and keep at a simmer. 

5. Add the carrot slices, celery, scallions and ginger and let simmer for another 10 minutes. 

6. Add the chicken.

7. Season with salt and pepper to taste. 

8. Top with sprigs of fresh cilantro.