CurrentMom

On the Same Page

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by: dcjohn

An afternoon alone, sans kids, thanks to The Grandparents. You get your errands done, and it's time to reunite. You child comes home, and you hear that there was a fight between your toddler and their Grandparent. So what do you do?

First, get the information. Talk to the adult. What happened? Your toddler wasn't listening (like that is a shock). The Grandparent became frustrated, and went back to his/her parenting methods. A light spanking ensued. This was not the information you expected. So what to do? Try to stay calm. Are you able to express to The Grandparent that this is not how you correct behavior? Perhaps you tried, and were met with protests of how this is how they parented, and it worked then. (As a point of reference, when we were kids, sleeping on one's stomach was encouraged, and car seats were an afterthought). It seems that the points of reference are a little outdated. How can you gently convey this? Or maybe even not so gently?

This type of scenario can be common. Grandparents exercising their parenting beliefs (especially during times of frustration, as we all fall back on what we know) might not be upholding the same methods that you employ.

Conversations are key. Express clearly what your expectations are.

Model. Model. Model. Demonstrate how you handle parenting corrections.

Role Play. You can even strategize together around how it can be done differently next time.

When correcting a Grandparent, it is important to recognize that the conversation might need to occur several times. In different ways. Additionally, it will be important to work with your child around the behavior that was being corrected. I've taught parents to say things like, "It wasn't OK for Johnny to hit you. But it also wasn't OK for you to spank him." Firm reminders around who are the parents might also be important: "I can appreciate that this was how you did it when you parented. However, we are Johnny's parents, and our methods are different."

Hopefully, this gets everyone back on the same page.

Princess Minnie's Favorite Spinach Casserole

Meal Monday

About a year ago, in an oxymoronic never-ending quest to simplify our lives and upgrade our home all at the same time, we installed corner benches in our kitchen to create an almost-banquette.

How hip and urbane, we thought! This will truly revolutionize mealtime. We even have an extra space now if a guest would like to sit uncomfortably in the corner with his or her feet awkwardly unable to touch the floor. Perfect!  

To be fair, we usually eat in shifts due to ridiculous schedules, and the four of us do fit comfortably at the table.  

What we did not anticipate was the luxury this new eating arrangement provides for our four-year-old cockapoo, Minnie. Minnie -- that's HRH Minnie to you -- is a fairly low-maintenance dog in general, but one with an outsize attitude.

Certainly, she is cute and affectionate and all those things one cherishes in a family pet. What she is also, is highly entitled. Whereas Princess Minnie was unlikely to seat herself on the standard ladder back chairs, she is very quick to ensconce herself on the upholstered bench. 

Because of her size, her head pops up at just the right height to enjoy the banquette and the table just like the rest of us (humans). Normally, this is not an issue. She sleeps most of the day with occasional breaks to bark at a squirrel, and we go about our business. At mealtime, she is relegated to the floor. 

However, the other night, I made one of my standard meals: a spinach and cheese casserole. I had to go out, but my husband prepared a plate for my daughter who has late practice during the week, and left it on the table. Then he left the room. 

Dear Reader, can you guess what transpired next? Indeed, Princess Minnie enjoyed the casserole immensely! And the experience must have been even better because of her comfortable seating arrangement.

When my daughter got home, she had a microwaved frozen burrito for dinner. Lesson learned. 

In case you have a hungry cockapoo at home, I'm sharing the casserole recipe. It is embarrassingly easy to make and comes from a small book I've had for decades called "Food Editors' Favorites: Treasured Recipes," edited by Barbara Gibbs Ostmann and Jane Baker.

I've substituted frozen broccoli for the spinach at times and it also works well.

Spinach Casserole 

2 eggs, well beaten

6 tablespoons flour

1 package (10 oz.) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained

1 1/2 cups cottage cheese

1 1/2 cups grated cheddar cheese

1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat eggs and flour until smooth. Stir in all other ingredients and mix well. Pour into greased one quart casserole dish and bake for one hour.

 

I Vant To Be Alone

Truth Thursday

Last week I was cleaning up some piles of old books in the attic. Among them was a sweet book I had bought for my kids a few years back. It’s called “Five Minutes Peace,” and it’s all about a mama elephant who just wants … you guessed it … five minutes peace. Her three young children show up everywhere – when she’s on the phone, when she’s making toast for breakfast, in her bath. 

Anyone with children can relate. And of course, the runaway best seller among parents of small children in 2011 was “Go the F—k to Sleep,” which, while I’m not sure I would actually have chosen to state it so publicly, is a sentiment to which I definitely adhere (and anyone who read my “Potty Mouth Mama” blog knows that I don’t even really object to the profanity.) Those quiet nighttime moments, after small children are finally asleep, are a parents’ sanity savior. 

As my children get older, they are no longer appendages of my body, accompanying me wherever I go. I remember feeling like I wanted to scream when I would take a shower in the morning when they were younger, and sure enough, as soon as I stepped into what I hoped would be five minutes of child-free, hot water bliss, someone would inevitably knock on the door, needing something important like scotch tape. Surely their father, calmly sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and oblivious to the dire calamity of tape necessity, could help them? 

Nope. It had to be mom.

Job Search: Revenge of the Robots

Work Wednesday

Having recently found myself in the position of "not exactly employed," as I like to call it, I've had many opportunities to road-test all manner of job application methods: online forms, email boxes, "phone screens" by recruiters, skills tests, and my personal favorite, the hand-written job application form. This won't be news to anyone who's ever tried to find a job, but the whole process can be incredibly time-consuming and disheartening.  It's hard to hang on to your self-confidence when 99% of employers don't even notice you in the first place.  

It's true what they say: networking makes a difference. The in-person interviews I've landed so far have happened because someone I've worked with in the past recommended me to someone they know. But oddly enough, my two most recent full-time jobs resulted from the least likely method: I found a job posting in the newspaper and sent a resume and a cover letter. 

So, I have (anecdotal) proof that it works. The trick, however, is to get that awesome resume and cover letter in front of the right person. The real, live human being who is actually making the hiring decision is usually a reasonable person who bases her decision on some kind of logical thought process.

Unfortunately, this person is often hidden behind an army of unreasonable robots.

True Value: Butterscotch Cream Cheese Swirl Brownies Recipe

Meal Monday

I know I have three kids, but I am not exactly sure how it's possible that I have 10 teachers/therapists on my holiday gift list.

According to more experienced moms, the appropriate gift for each one is in the $10 to $15 range. Preferably in the form of a gift card. Less preferably in the form of a mug. While each gift doesn't sound like much, when you multiply it by 10…ouch.

Though I don't celebrate Christmas, I am all about holiday season baking. Peppermint, Gingerbread, butterscotch, and, of course, chocolate—what's not to love? Now I have a rationale for collecting holiday cookie and bar recipes all these years: teacher gifts. Bonus: I have three little elves to help me with the preparation.