Thanksgiving Tidings

Truth Thursday

It was a tough first half of the year for my family.  Early in 2011, while he was still recovering from a surgery from which he would take much longer to heal than had been expected, my husband lost his job. He had been working for a small organization that lost its funding and fell apart, mostly on a moment’s notice. We didn’t know how long it would take him to find a new job, between the recession and the fact that he had entered a new field. Frankly, it was devastating. 

But we were lucky. He found a new job pretty quickly, one that he actually really likes, and after a bit of post-traumatic stress, we were able to settle into a fairly comfortable family regime again.

It has also been a difficult year for many of our friends. We have several close friends who lost their parents this year – one whose dad died after many years suffering from a terrible, debilitating accident, one whose father died very suddenly, and one whose mom died fairly quickly, but not without a few terrible months of medical intervention and questions and indecision and heartbreak. Another friend lost a brother. 

Each of these friends has a loving family and good work and a happy life to comfort them, but each is also in the swirl of mourning, grief and recovery.

We have several friends who also lost their jobs this year. This unending recession is taking its toll even on the DC region, which purportedly has the most stable and recession-proof economy. The bad economic news, however, is trickling up, and employers are having to make decisions about new ways to economize and jobs are definitely a little shaky. Even those of us with education and experience and having done all the right things are finding ourselves in tenuous positions.

We have some friends who have been sick, either having a sudden hospitalization, or having found themselves in the throes of cancer too young in life. Others are caring for aging parents. Some are themselves facing surgeries, not life-threatening but nerve-wracking nonetheless.

And yet.

It has been a year of blessings.

I can’t help myself. I’m an optimist. While I spent a good portion of my late adolescence and young adulthood in a smoldering, baseline depression that spanned years, I find myself in middle age feeling utterly sanguine, if not joy-filled, about life most days.

While I clearly remember the devastating feeling of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, and wondering what there was to live for, today, no matter how many blows life strikes at me, I no longer seem to be able to travel to that dark place.

It appears that, much like the hormonal shifts of pregnancy eradicated my allergies forever, the changing tides of mid-life have swept away any chance of my returning to a world in which I question the sweetness of my life.

Yes, it’s all very hard. Work is hard. Marriage is hard. Raising children is hard. Watching loved ones get sick and die is very hard. Caring for ourselves and others is hard. Losing those we love is hard. Trying to keep up in a sinking economy and planning for the future is hard.

And yet.

The blessings of our lives are all around us. This fall, which has seen a particularly brilliant and fiery turning of the leaves, has been a daily reminder of this for me. Every day, as I either walk my youngest son to school, take a quick trot around the neighborhood or even just drive to the grocery store, I can't help but look around me at the glorious colors woven into the canopy over my head and feel happy.

I wake each morning, anticipating the day ahead. Many days are jam packed with work and carpooling and cranky kids and obligations and things that I have let slip and feel guilty about and deadlines that I almost miss. Many days there is bad news. Many days are simply boring.

And while my body retains the memory of slipping into a stupefied state when things become overwhelming, or sad, or tragic, or even just boring, I no longer go there. Because each day also brings the hope of something utterly wonderful. A hug from my son. A word of praise from my boss. A new book to read. An email from a friend. A conversation with my sister.

A brilliant oak tree.

I am grateful for these life blessings. And while I am anticipating more rough patches in the coming year, only because I know that that’s what life brings, I am also looking forward to the small moments of daily joy, because that’s what life offers as an antidote.

Happy Thanksgiving.

 

Photo by bennthewolfe via Flickr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Emily Kuvin]

This is such a timely, poignant piece. Thanksgiving is all about being grateful and you underscore that with your heartfelt prose. Thanks, Karen!

[Paula]

As you know, it's been a pretty rough year for me too. Thanks Karen.