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Wednesday, November 16, 2011



Thanks for the shout-out, Jen, and so sorry to hear about your job predicament. When my husband lost his job, through no fault of his own, and very suddenly, last winter, we went through a lot of what you describe, plus the sense of "how could this happen to us when we did everything right?" In this economy, nobody is safe, and none of the old rules apply. It's quite scary. He has said that looking for a job was the hardest job he ever had. On the other hand, I fully endorse pie, and it sounds to me like you accomplished just the right amount in the first two weeks. Good, good luck.


Thank you for your warm thoughts, Karen! You know, as much as I tell myself "do NOT let this get to you" the suspicion that I've messed up in some way always sneaks in. The rules and job landscape definitely have changed in the last few years, but at the same time, it seems to me that people are also looking out for each other a little more. Maybe social media has something to do with this because we're more aware, even if peripherally, of things going on in other people's lives. I've been truly heartened by the sheer number of friends who have reached out to me, even if it's just to say "I'm in the same boat, let's meet sometime soon and catch up."

Valerie Young

Thanks for bring impostor feelings out of the closet - if you've never realized there is a name for these nebulous feelings of self-doubt you may walk around thinking you're the only one.

If after even after all those reminders of your accomplishments you still find yourself dismissing them as "just" luck, timing, charm, or connections step back and recognize that all these thing are not "excuses" for success but rather legitimate factors in everyone's success --- including yours.

No one likes to fail. People with impostor syndrome experience shame. Don't. Failure, set-backs, mistakes offer valuable opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of seeing these things as "proof" of your ineptness, do what pro athletes do and mentally review the game tape to see what lessons can be gleaned then move on.

Valerie Young
Author, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It

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