The Halloween Line Between Scary and Really Scary

Truth Thursday

 

I just finished helping my youngest son put together a Grim Reaper Halloween decoration – sound-activated, it pops up from the grave with a scary, spooky noise.

Not our usual Halloween fare.

From the time my oldest son was born, I was all into the Halloween scene. He was the requisite infant pumpkin his first year, then when he was two he was a tree (complete with pillowcase and leaves.) Our house was equipped with equally friendly ghosties and decorations. The scariest we ever got was a paper skeleton adorning our door. Otherwise we were a strictly smiley-faced pumpkins kind of abode with a black cat on one of those plastic door hangers.

Then, a couple of years ago, we started down the far eerier path of fog machines, spider webs, crazy eyes that rattle and make odd noises, and an altogether spookier vibe.

In addition, we’ve moved into a friendly competition with our close friends and next-door neighbors for the sort-of scariest porch. So they now have a hand that grabs you at the bottom of their candy bowl and a witch’s head bobbing around in a crystal ball (although the best part of the Halloween scene for the adults on our block is hanging out on the sidewalk, drinking red wine and munching on lime tortilla chips with the neighbors. It’s a tradition.)

This year, however, my kids started to clamor for really scary décor.

I wasn’t sure how far we should go. We have a whole host of younger kids on our block, and I didn’t want the three and four-year-olds to get too spooked. However, I can also understand the desire on the part of my 10- and 12-year-olds to really get into the darkness of the holiday. There’s something deliciously exhilarating about shedding our skins for one night and becoming something altogether dark, different and perhaps even a little wicked.

So I allowed them to choose and add one scary decoration to our regular fare. We combed the aisles at Target (not being willing to go to one of those pop-up Halloween stores, which really cater to adult Halloween, as I was afraid they’d get tempted by something unbearably gruesome.) After testing out a bunch of candidates, they agreed on the pop-up Grim Reaper. He’s pretty scary, I have to admit, and we’re going to have him jump up out of a pile of hay, making him even more surprising to our trick or treaters. But I can live with him.

For many years, all the kids my kids’ ages on our block went trick or treating together. We would gather them each year for a block picture before they went out. I remember years of Casper the friendly ghost, pirates, a cheerleader, a punk rocker complete with safety pins, Batgirl, Batman, sports heroes and even a hobo. It was one of my favorite moments of the year.

Today, the kids are older, and no longer hang together, each going off with other friends and different routes. We can’t get them to pose for a picture.

And their costumes have morphed as well. This year, right on schedule, my almost-teen daughter has moved into the slightly inappropriate costume realm, dressing up as a Mad Hatter, with the shortest skirt I’ve ever seen a Mad Hatter wear. She is also hosting a getting-dressed-for-Halloween party, as the girls seem to need several hours together to put on their costumes. My full-blown teen is scouting out neighborhoods with reputations for great candy distribution that are metro accessible. Fortunately, my 10-year-old still wants to be Elmo.

One tradition that has not changed, however, is the all-important, fast and furious candy trading session, when the three of them sit at our kitchen table and throw improbable deals at each other (I’ll trade you three eyeballs for five Laffy Taffys.) They practically need visors, candy sharks that they are.

There’s still a part of me that longs for the sweeter, softer, less scary Halloween. The days when they were still willing to go up to the neighborhood Halloween parade, looking adorable in their pumpkin and ladybug costumes.

The days when, in an attempt to create a haunted house on our porch, they dragged out our easel blackboard and wrote on it, “Bewar. Don’t come in or the gosts will boo you and the spiters will bite you.”

We’ve moved on. We’re scarier now. We have the Grim Reaper, and fog. But deep down inside, we’ll always be just a house with grinning carved pumpkins and little ghosties.

Happy Halloween.

 

 Photo by lobo235 via Flickr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Yo]

You guys steal graphics and there's absolutely no creativity in your work

[Stephen]

Seriously? a 10yr old that wants to be Elmo? Elmo is for toddlers. Is he challenged?

[Michael]

@Stephen I have Twin 10 year olds myself. Amazingly they are still somewhat innocent. I beleive that it is a good thing that they are still kids and not little sullen oversexed violent adult wannabes. Get some real values before you go spouting off about kids being kids still. You sound like the type of person who dresses their little girls in slut-wear and their little boys in SlipKnot T-shirts and then is surprised when the kids turn into suicidal teen parents.

[Karen]

I very rarely respond to a reader. I have readers who have disagreed with me, who have thought me writing to be "ham-fisted" or worse, and who have taken me to task for perceived lack of information. I have readers who have accused me (and us) of stealing graphics (see above; Current Mom actually has a policy of using the Creative Commons site on Flickr - which makes thousands of photos available to the public domain, so long as there is attribution.) And of course, I have readers who have supported me through my blogging journey.

But I have never had a reader who chose to slander my child, and to this, I have to respond.

No, Stephen, my 10-year-old is not "challenged", unless he is challenged to behave like a sweet young boy in a society that places a premium on violence and gore and over-sexed tweens and teens and even younger kids. I am delighted that he has chosen to be Elmo for Halloween - it is, in fact, his chosen nickname (because who doesn't love Elmo?) and as any parent with young children knows, there is a power and pull to those muppet characters that lives well beyond the toddler years. All three of my kids, once they outgrew Sesame Street, chose to continue to love the muppets for what they are - funny, witty, profound, and utterly adorable. I love the muppets too. It's cool to wear muppet shirts well into your teens -- just look around any store's teen section and you'll see that.

And in fact, we have friends where the mom is currently undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, and all five of them - mom and dad and three kids (not all toddlers) - are wearing muppet hats to show their solidarity with their mom as she loses her hair.

I won't make the assumption that you are not a parent - perhaps you are. But I don't know ANY parent who would choose to make an assumption, especially such an ignorant, hurtful assumption -- about a child he or she doesn't know. It was just plain mean, and it got my hackles up in a fierce, mother lion, protective way. Please do not make assumptions about my child or any other child you've never met, and I won't make assumptions about your choices surrounding your family.

[Linda Keely]

Thanks for the heads up about the grim reaper. It is obviously time to "up our game".

- Your next door neighbor

[Beth Sperber Richie]

Well said, Karen, both in your post and in your comments. Bravo to a 10 year old who still wants to be Elmo and to any other kid who doesn't feel a need to grow up too fast. There is plenty of time to be an adult and as this discussion shows us, it isn't all fun and games. So take your time, kids and enjoy being Elmo or whoever else you want to be.

[Ashira]

Great job responding to a heckler, Karen.

[Lyn]

The comment was gratuitous, indeed.

But I'm curious about your disclaimer: "I very rarely respond to a reader."

Why?

[Melody Bakeeff]

I'm guessing she takes the sage advice of most seasoned online posters - "Don't Feed the Trolls". :-)

[Account Deleted]

Great reading, thanks! Sometimes I just happen to stumble over info that arrives in a timely manner. Spot on ;-)