The Flamingo Dad

Fatherhood Friday

Last weekend, The Wife and I were channel surfing and came across one of my favorite movies of all-time, The Flamingo Kid. If you're unfamiliar with the film, it stars a young Matt Dillon as the son a a blue-collar Brooklyn family in the early 1960s who lucks into a job at a posh club in Rockaway.

Enthralled by a lifestyle he never knew existed - and on the cusp of college - he moves emotionally further away from his family, especially his father. Instead, he develops a father-son relationship with the the club scion, who has taken him under his wing. (Sidenote: for similar reasons another of my favorite below-the-radar films is A Bronx Tale.)

When I was a teenager I first fell for this film. I've always had an affection for 1960s culture, especially music. As a suburban New Yorker, I could relate to the locale. Plus, at the time, I was a big fan of gin rummy, which is an underlying theme in the movie.

But the thing that probably made me really appreciate the movie was the father-son motiff. The reason I was influenced by 60s music and gin rummy was largely because of my dad, who, not incidentally grew up in NYC (the Bronx, not Brooklyn, but still) and "escaped" to the suburbs.

Beyond that, though, my teen years were pretty stressful between me and my dad. So when Matt Dillon told his father in the film to stop trying to control his life it sure sounded a lot like the conversations in my house. I related to Matt Dillon's character. We might not have been blue-collar, but we were working-class. And I was going to move up and on how I saw fit.

Fast forward to today, having watched the movie for the first time in probably 20 years. While I remember well the feelings I felt relating to the Matt Dillon character, it was his father who really resonated with me. No longer a teenager ready to graduate into the world, I'm a dad who dreams great dreams for his kids. While he didn't execute with perfection, the dad was clearly trying to do not only what he thought was best for his son, but doing it as best as he could.

As a fan of film - especially from the 60s, 70s and 80s - I have a growing list of movies I can't wait to rediscover with my own kids. They are still pretty young now but no doubt we'll have our fair share of tension as we enter the teen years. I'll be curious how I view this film then.

(photo credit: http://photos3.fotosearch.com/bthumb/CSP/CSP671/k6710257.jpg)

Comments

[Katherine]

I love that movie too! So interesting to see how it resonates with you now very differently, as a dad. I should re-watch some of my childhood favorites and see how different they appear. For instance, I wonder if I will see Dirty Dancing and think, "hey, dance teacher, keep your pedophile hands off that nice teen girl!"