Assuming everyone does their part in the proscribed time, TNH Guy and The Wife will be adding a third bundle of joy to a testosterone-filled home. (The topic of family expansion plans beyond the way-too typical Core Fore of mom, dad & two kids will be addressed in a future posting.)
I think my wife will agree that we have a fairly equitable distribution of household tasks. We often joke around that we operate by the committee system - For example, she's the chair of the laundry & inside cleaning committee, though I'm a committee-member; I chair the outdoors maintenance committee, while her place on that committee is constantly evolving. And we co-chair the boys' scheduling committee.
As we move towards the arrival of boy #3, the committee system has been thrown for a loop. The doctor just prescribed "modified" bed rest for the wife. Generally, this means resting as much as possible, but its okay to get up for necessities, like meals.
Nonetheless, this has led to some disagreement over interpretation. The wife, a driven professional and awesome mom, feels that "modified" means finding just where the line of acceptable exertion is and going pretty close to it. I feel it means she should chill out and let me take over chairing, and sole membership of, all of our committees.
Now, I understand that this is difficult for her. She doesn't want to be sitting around watching scenes unfold where she's normally a protaganist. And I know that I can't replace her on certain committees; there is no way I can clean the kitchen as well as she can. (Even though I don't do a bad job.) She also has some feelings of guilt that a lot more responsibility falls onto my shoulders.
This is where the partnership shows its colors. We are both sensitive to the physical and psychological needs of each other, especially during challenging times. We both need to remember that this is short term, we fortunately exist within a system of helpful family close by and bosses who offer flexibility and support and that when all is said and done this is just the beginning of the next phase in a great journey.
(Photo credit: http://www.exxonmobilchemical.com/Images/appliance-washing-machine-dad-son_220x220.jpg)
What a great partnership! Wishing the wife the best - can't wait to hear about the end of bed rest and the beginning of no rest!
Posted by: Stacy | Saturday, September 10, 2011 at 11:41 PM