High Tech Parenting

Therapy Tuesday
Photo By: dcjohn

I read a blog the other day that got me thinking. Janice D'Arcy writes a regular blog for the Washington Post called "On Parenting."  A recent post caught my attention and got me thinking--how do parents decide about technology for their kids.

Most parents that I work with are completely clueless when it comes to technology and this can be a dangerous situation. Not that I'm suggesting that parents get on the latest trends, but some familiarity is important. D'Arcy writes about cell phones, and how old is old enough to give a child one. There is a specific phone, the Teddyphone that is marketed for toddlers. It's amazing that our species has survived if it is deemed necessary for a toddler to have a working cell phone. A toy phone is one thing, but a real one seems to cross the line. Who does a 4-year-old need to call?

A few weeks ago, my husband overheard our son talk to a friend at school. The two of them were arranging a play-date and were very specific about it. They determined location and even a day. My husband was so impressed, that he felt that we needed to make it happen. This is an example of play imitating life. Actually having the play-date reinforces many things to our son: he can make decisions, he is heard by his parents, and he is learning what the social and expected norms are.

Intuitively, children seem to have a knack for technology. It can be hard to keep up. And while technology has many wonderful things to offer, the fallout can be difficult to predict. Who would have known that Facebook could have a darker side to it such as cyber stalking and a forum for bullying? No matter how old your children are, there are some questions you can ask yourself before allowing them to take on new technologies.

1. What is the short-term gain for my child?
2. What potential issues can I see?
3. Do I understand how it is used and can I monitor it?
4. How did kids survive without this?

As summer winds down and school is nearing, technology and trends are going to be important to many kids. Hopefully, this helps to navigate them.

Comments

[Lyn]

"Who would have known that Facebook could have a darker side to it such as cyber stalking and a forum for bullying?"

People knew.

These sorts of issues have cropped up in every Internet forum, probably since the first half dozen computers were connected together into a network decades ago.

And in the 1990s, when Internet use was becoming more prevalent, these kinds of issues started getting attention on a national level. For example:

1994, National Research Council: Rights and Responsibilities of Participants in Networked Communities: http://www.nap.edu/catalog.php?record_id=4814

1999, National Research Council: Youth, Pornography, and the Internet: http://books.nap.edu/catalog.php?record_id=10261

We knew.

This stuff isn't original to Facebook, or Myspace, or Friendster, or whatever.

It's just life, complicated by a new medium.

[Cynthia]

Technology is a great thing but it comes with some consequences. Bullying is more easier now than ever because of Facebook and other social networks. Things like sexting are now very prevalent and having a teen daughter I admit to snooping on her. I have gone though her room and I also read her text messages. As far as Facebook is concerned I have her password and I keep tabs on what she and her friends post. I have removed the laptop from her room and she's allowed to use the computer in the living room. There are too many predators out there and it's my job to keep her safe.
I wrote a short blog asking whether it's ok to snoop on kids and got some interesting responses. Please see link below:
http://www.peoplesinsight.com/articles/1-parenting/151-is-it-wrong-to-snoop-on-your-kids

[Amanda]

In my view, high-tech parenting isn't all headaches. In fact, it can be a tremendous opportunity for me to participate in the routine events of my children's lives.