Full Circle Journey

Therapy Tuesday
Photo By: Julie Bindeman

Fair warning: this is another semi-indulgent post. Ripped from the headlines of my life (kind of like the function of Facebook). Last week, my daughter arrived. I thought I had three more weeks to get things ready, but at my appointment on Monday, the perinatologist suggested we bring her aboard earlier. My amniotic fluid levels were low, but a little more concerning was the fact that her growth had slowed dramatically. It was an indication that something wasn't working quite right. My husband and I had four days to do what we had planned to accomplish in three weeks time.

The first order of business was to get our work-life taken care of. For me, that meant sending out emails to clients I would be meeting with at the week's end (inducement day) and notify them that my maternity leave would be beginning a bit earlier than planned. I had to ensure that I had coverage for everyone, and I had spent the last several months matching my clients with interim clinicians.  I also had a week's worth of clients to see and during each session, I had to let them know the situation: I'd be leaving sooner than expected and to solidify the interim plan. Additionally, I had to try to process what this would be like.

The big day finally came on Friday. I couldn't have asked for a better birth experience. I'm not one who was a "natural birth nut", but that being said, I also didn't feel the need for a planned C-section. I was induced with Pitocin and the labor progressed well. At about noon, I received an epidural (which then ceased the potty mouth outbursts that had ensued) and an hour later, my daughter entered the world, 22 days early.

I have a living child, and this birth was the polar opposite of his. I felt more prepared for the labor, it was more emotional, and bonding began immediately.  To be fair, with my son, he was taken to the NICU as a precaution fairly immediately after his birth, so I didn't have the opportunities with him that I did with my daughter. She is acclimating well, despite her tiny size, and was able to stay with me during our stay. I look at her with such wonder: I know how long it took to get her here (approximately two years and four months). Whenever the journey is long, the payoff at the end is complex.

As I was getting ready to push, it struck me the reality that she was coming. My day was finally occurring. And I broke down. It was so surreal. To want something so badly for so long, and to be within moments of it happening...It is hard to pinpoint descriptive words that capture what my experience was like.

I'm delighted to be able to share that this chapter has simultaneously closed and opened for me. The process of bringing a healthy new member of our family has been achieved, but the challenge of raising her has just begun.

 

Comments

[JenB]

I am so happy for you, Julie! Congratulations on the birth of a beautiful daughter and the beginning of a new chapter for you and your family.

[Katherine]

Congratulations, Julie!! What a difficult journey you have had but what a big reward -- your baby. I can't wait to meet her. (And I'm sure you will be well up to the challenge of raising her.)

[Ana]

Congratulations Julie, to you and your family!!!

[Karen]

Such happy news, Julie. And I know exactly how you feel. My daughter, who is my child who arrived after much heartbreak in our lives, has just turned 12. It's a miracle to watch her every day.

Wishing you joy and some sleep on your next parenting journey.

[Stacy]

This is wonderful news, Julie. And you've written about it so beautifully. I know you and your family with share many joys with your new daughter.