Whatever Wednesday
Guest post by Donna A. Lewis, a doting aunt and number one favorite babysitter
I am an especially good candidate for being an Aunt.
I was a child. I had parents. And I have grown up enough to see how their advice turned out.
From that position of power and wisdom, there are a few things I want my nieces to know in order that they can benefit from my wisdom at an early age and not spend four decades of their life figuring it out (like I did).
1. Your parents will lie to you
Your parents won't lie as in "telling a fib," but they won't always tell you the exact truth or the whole truth or the truth in context. This isn't because they're bad people. In fact, it's anything BUT that. It's because they love you and they want the best for you and they want your life to turn out as good as possible. So, when it comes to these wonderful, loving people, trust but verify. Just saying.
2. Your parents will say you can do anything
Now, in the United States, where we are, this is true in theory. This is the land of the free - so you are technically free to be whatever you want to be.
But the truth is that you can't be anything you want. If you're not very tall, you can't be a supermodel. If you're not very good at spelling, you probably shouldn't be an editor. If the sight of blood makes you queasy, you probably wouldn't make a very good paramedic, nurse or doctor.
Your parents want you to think that you have a lot of options. They want you to chase your dreams without preconceived notions of your limits. You should thank them for believing in you and then make an appointment with a career counselor or social worker who can help you match your skills with your dreams.
3. Your parents will say that you're amazing
And you are. You're amazing. In some ways, you are amazing. Maybe it's because you have the biggest heart around. Maybe you're amazing because you help everyone even before they ask for help. And maybe you're amazing because you can memorize a dictionary in just ten minutes.
But here's what your parents won't tell you: You're not amazing in every way. If everyone was amazing in every way, there would be no such thing as amazing. Amazing is that top echelon for people who go above and beyond in a certain area. And no, don't tell me you go above and beyond in every single thing you do. I've seen you take three hours to pick up your toothbrush and even longer to put on your shoes.
No, you are just not amazing in every single way. And that's okay. Because nobody is.
4. Your parents will tell you that they only want the best for you
This is sometimes true and sometimes not true as much. Yes, generally speaking, your parents want the best for you. Why wouldn't they? Of course they want the best for you! They want the best for everyone they live with!
But sometimes your parents are tired or distracted or confused and they want the easiest thing. And here's the deal: you KNOW when your parents are just giving in because you beat them down. So be really nice to them and don't take advantage of them when they're in a compromised position. If you're not sure what a compromised position is, ask your parents.
5. Your parents will tell you that everything will be fine
This is true AND it's a lie. It's BOTH!
It's true because everything WILL be fine in the long run. In the big picture, if you're willing to be patient and have a lot of hope and faith, everything will indeed be fine.
But it's also a little bit of a lie because your parents don't really know how everything will turn out. So sometimes they're just trying to make you feel better.
Now there is one exception to this sort-of-rule. If your parents look you in the eye for more than three seconds, and say with sincerity that you should really seriously believe them and trust them, then they probably do know for sure that everything will be okay. In those cases, you can trust them.
But if they say, "Would I lie to you?" .. well, c'mon, you know that they would.
6. Your parents will tell you that they're listening
This is another one that's half true and half lie. Sometimes your parents are really and seriously listening. And sometimes they think that they're listening but they're really making a list in their head for the grocery store and for the plumber who is coming on Saturday to fix a leak.
It's helpful if you can try to talk to your parents when they're not distracted. Because remember, your parents are only human. They can only do so much and sometimes they wish that they were listening but they're just too busy managing your family's life to listen.
And last but not least...
7. Your parents will say that they do things because they love you
Ha ha ha. GOTCHA! That's not a lie.
It's not always what you want to hear, but it's not a lie either.
So when they say, "It's because I love you," maybe you could remember to not roll your eyes and give them a hug.
Because they're only human.
Donna A. Lewis is a lawyer, cartoonist and aunt to five bright and lovable girls.
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