Making Time for Hobbies

Work Wednesday

I told my husband I wanted to write about hobbies for this column.

What are you going to say yours are, he asked.

That question said it all.  

I used to have hobbies. I loved to read books. I loved to cook. And I used to write in journals regularly, almost religiously. Then I had a child, and another, and returned to a career that dipped way too freely into my spare time.

Today, I have a new, less demanding career. And my children, while still requiring constant attention, are far more self-sufficient. Overall, my load is lighter. Yet, I have read only one book within the last calendar year. And, at a time when I should be writing down examples of my children’s lickety-split growth, I rarely make such journal entries. In fact, my hand rarely connects pen to that kind of paper these days, despite my increased need for some introspection.

Recently, I took an informal poll among some friends to see who had any hobbies or taken one up. Those with children scoffed, with that unsaid understanding, If you are a mother with a full-time job, hobbies must be sacrificed. The older we get, the deeper we delve into our careers, the more children we have, we have very little time to spend in our lives on something as frivolous as a hobby.

But recently, two of my friends made me rethink this idea.

One girlfriend, Kenya, had become increasingly involved in her Brazilian dance and performance group. Kenya has always been a great dancer, classically trained and naturally inspired. But Batucaxe, her dance group, became a growing passion for her. It always came up during our phone calls and always seemed to be included in her Facebook status updates.

Kenya had a full-time job and a young daughter, and yet devoted an incredible amount of time to her dance classes, performance rehearsals and promoting the group. Dance strengthened her body, as well as her soul.

Another friend of mine, Patty, said she had to sharply curtail her favorite hobby – traveling to exotic locations – once she had kids. She still dreams of traveling and said she plans to resurrect this hobby when her girls are a bit older and can accompany their parents on kid-friendly adventures.

But Patty recently started reading books and magazines again for pleasure, rather than for work. She also clings to one hobby that has accommodated her new life with two young children: gardening.

“While I can't spend an entire day in the yard like I used to, I do get my fix of planting bulbs and pulling weeds,” she said. It helps that her girls “love to be outside digging in the dirt” at the same time.

Gardening has a sentimental value for Patty.

“It’s a hobby my mom gave to me and I will give it to our kids because it is such a comfort to me and still provides thinking time and daydreaming time,” she said.

That led me to daydream a bit myself. Despite spending most of my waking hours commuting to work, at a desk or catering to kids, the time seems right to bring back some of my lost loves. Like my children, they could help bring some balance into my life.

So where’s that dust-covered journal?

 

Image by Anna Denise via Flickr

Comments

[Katherine]

It is SO hard to find time for hobbies but well worth the effort. I also work full time and have two kids, but I sing once a week in a group that rehearses in our dining room. It helps me to rediscover and keep alive that part of myself that isn't a mom, worker or wife -- the youthful me who started singing and performing at age 8 and never stopped. I can't tell you how many times I dread the start of rehearsal: I'm too tired, I don't feel like it, etc. etc. But by the end of the 90 minutes, I have been transported back in time. I even think it makes me a better mom, worker and wife to restore myself with a hobby.

[Eun Kim]

Thanks, Katherine! I need to remind myself, I make time for doctors
appointments and other health-related things, why not hobbies? I agree
that they can only make me a better person (mom, employee, wife...)