Renaissance Kid

Fatherhood Friday

When it did it become so complicated? After school activities, that is.  

Our oldest son just started first grade. His biggest anxiety this week had to do with a new school, new teacher and new friends. Ours is what to do with him at 3 p.m.

I hate to sound like a fuddy duddy, but I strongly suspect my parents weren't overwhelmed with what to do with their first grader after school. I'd come home and play with friends. As I got older I played organized soccer. Or basketball. Or whatever. It was pretty simple.

Last night, my wife and I met for three hours - three hours! - to try and figure out what to do with our first grader after school. It is simply overwhelming. On the one hand, I'm incredibly appreciative of the world of choice and opportunity that's out there for him. Chess, karate, piano, soccer, painting, architecture (seriously). And then there's the myriad choices of which school/community/religious institution/private company to pursue these activities. Its got to be an enormous industry. And based on the dollars charged, a pretty profitable one too.

Our son has a lot of interests, so I'm glad there are many things to explore. But in order to "get the most" out of the program, we are advised to schedule him 2-3 times per week, per activity. It means leaving some things on the table. As if the choice weren't overwhelming enough, now we need to forget about some good choices at an early age.

Here's the thing - I don't want my first grader specializing in anything. I don't want him to feel like he needs to make a commitment to anything. I want him just to explore. And enjoy it.

What's worse is that even if we wanted him to just be seven, have unstructured time with his friends and make up (and police) their own games we can't. Because the other seven year olds are already committed to equestrian, biophysics or videography.

It certainly was much different when I was growing up. Back then, my family could afford our lifestyle on one salary. We didn't need organized, supervised after-school activities. 

Not so much today. So, yeah, I'm grateful that there are so many interesting choices out there and, yeah, I'm glad our first grader can explore things that I never dreamed of at such a young age. But part of me wishes it could be a little simpler and not require color-coded calendars and three-year contracts.

(photo credit: http://pixdaus.com)

Comments

[Katherine]

This is such a funny post! And true. I think you have the right attitude. Three sessions of the same activity in one week would make even the most enthusiastic 6-year old blanch, I would say. We have scheduled our first grader for two activities, with reluctance. She was doing piano and swimming last year, but this year we added soccer plus religious school, so the piano had to go. I just don't want to have the color coded schedules. (We'll save that for next year.)

[michelle abrams]

Most families could get by on one salary but it requires sacrifices. I feel bad for the children today that after spending 6 hours at school have to be shuffled off to activites just so their parents can work a few more hours. Pay a sitter and let your child have some down time at home instead of fooling yourself into believing that they really want to spend 3 more hours after school in "activites".