Selfish or Selfless Education

Fatherhood Friday

I used to live in the Washington D.C. area. As my oldest son starting approaching school-age, many colleagues of mine who had children ranging from high school to post-college said something to the tune of "you're sending him to private school, right?"

Now, the public schools where we lived were considered top-notch. Plus, my wife and I were both public school products and are strong believers in public schools. The idea of spending $25,000 a year for perhaps an incrementally better education struck me as far-fetched.

Fast forward a few years, where we've moved to the Midwest. When we moved here we were in temporary housing. Not knowing where we would ultimately settle down we enrolled our son at the community religious school. While not $25,000 it was still a considerable cost. But it gave us some stability. 

I also realized the religious education was important to me (and my wife). I never had it, and I take great joy in seeing his awareness, pride and grounding take shape. Perhaps equally important, I derived great value in what it provided the family - namely, a sense of place in a new community. We were quickly welcomed into the community, making great friends and feeling part of something bigger.

The downside is our concerns about the secular instruction. We have some serious concerns about the quality of the education, compounded by the very, very small class size. In short, we're not sure that he's going to be consistently challenged in a well-rounded setting. (The town where we ultimately settled has excellent public schools.)

So, today, we're wrestling with where the priorities ought to be. How to balance the desire for religious education, community and grounding (very much admittedly for both him and us) with the need for a very strong general education? Not to mention the cost factor too. 

Is it selfish or selfless to keep him in the private religious school? Of course this is a very personal decision that each family must make on its own based on its own values and priorities. That said, I'd be curious to hear about your thoughts and experiences.

(Photo credit: babble.com)

Comments

[Katherine]

This is such a tough decision. We are also huge fans of the public school system and both were mostly educated in local public schools. But I do regret that we need to devote our entire Sunday morning to religious education for our children, rather than being able to spend family time together. That's the tradeoff -- instead of getting it throughout the school day we have to set aside a big chunk of family time. Every family will answer the question differently; I think it depends on your kids and the resources in your community.

Down the road, we'd be open to private school if either of our children seemed to need something the public school wasn't providing. (And we're saving money just in case -- after all, we can always spend it on college.)But our default is public.