CurrentMom

Make a Backup Plan for Success

Startup Sunday

Yesterday I saw social media guru Peter Shankman speak for the second time, and even got to meet his mom. (She's adorable.) He told many of the same jokes I'd heard before but the interstitial material was somewhat adjusted for the audience of journalists, freelance writers and book authors. One of the points that resonated most with me was his advice to make a backup plan for success.

I am risk averse, as I've blogged before. That's why I never thought I would become an entrepreneur. But while I love to plan, there is a limit. I plan vacations, child care, future spending and major career moves. It never occurred to me to make a back-up plan for success.

Shankman's point is certainly a valid one. By telling would-be entrepreneurs to make a back-up plan in case they fail, we're unwittingly sending the message: "You're such a loser; you're bound to screw it up!" Certainly, there's research documenting the power of visualizing the outcome you want. (Another speaker at the American Society of Journalists and Authors conference, Kevin Daum, went so far as to tattoo the words "New York Times Best Seller" on his chest as a means of constantly reminding himself of his goal.)

Potty Mouth Mama

Sharing Saturday  

A few weeks ago, on a Thursday morning at precisely 8:23 am, my daughter stuck her head into the bathroom where I was taking a late shower. The kids have learned over the years not to ever, ever bother me in the shower unless there is a fire or blood. She timidly asked, "Mama?" I growled back.  She then reminded me we were to be at her school in 7 minutes for her weekly math tutoring session with her teacher.

A rapid stream of four words, all of which were on George Carlin's list of seven dirty words and which cannot be printed here, flew out of my mouth before I even turned off the shower tap. All I can say is that the first three began with the letter "s" and the last one with an even more satisfying "f." My eight-year-old and ten-year-old were nonplussed, and hopefully realized that the tirade was not directed at them.

"Mom, Who Cares About Spelling?"

Family Friday

Although my soon-to-be nine-year-old has long questioned the utility of various school subjects, he has typically discovered their practical applications as he's moved through life.  Over time, he's realized that reading Harry Potter independently, or figuring out how much spare change will add up to ice cream, could not happen without the skills he's learned in school.

For less obviously applicable subjects like algebra and geometry (yes, today's third-graders are learning both), he seems to understand the "muscle metaphor:" mental exercise makes your brain stronger and more flexible, just as weight-lifting increases your muscle mass.  And he grudgingly accepts that, without proper grammar, people may misunderstand you – as the popular Facebook group (over 173,000 members!) argues, punctuation saves lives, as "Let's eat, Grandma" and "Let's eat Grandma" demonstrate. 

But with spelling, we've hit an impasse.  Exactly what redeeming value does spelling hold, my son wants to know.  After all, he adds, you still know what people mean even if the words are spelled wrong.

The lack of logic in English spelling seems to rankle him more than anything else.  In the Spanish language, you spell what you hear.  But English evolved from such a hodgepodge of different sources that spelling was a do-it-yourself project for centuries, long on creativity and short on logic.  

I squelch the first response that pops into my head: "Other people will think you're ignorant if you can't spell."  (It wouldn't have helped, as my little non-conformist would quickly shred any argument that smacks of What Will Others Think). 

But I'm truly drawing a blank…why does spelling matter?  Why do we teach it?  Why do we give spelling tests?  (And my brain-muscle-strengthening metaphor is strained at best, because what real mental exercise does spelling homework provide, beyond rote memorization?)

Technology's Constant Ethical Morass

Image via Wikipedia

Technology Thursday

Two stories raising interesting, but different, sets of ethical questions arose in the tech world this past week.

In the first, we learn that once again, the Apple hype machine reigns supreme. An Apple employee lost a prototype of the new iPhone. Someone found it, then sold it to Gizmodo, who wrote up a long piece about it, providing a good sense of what new features are likely in the 4G iPhone. As you can imagine, many heads in the tech blogosphere exploded over this. I maintain that any other company's prototype phone would never have generated this much attention. Especially since none of the features that Gizmodo describes are really all that surprising. But because Apple's hype machine can manage to turn even the simplest incremental changes into "Big News!", people are inordinately curious about their secret prototypes. Making this story even more interesting are critiques of Gizmodo's tactics--they paid for stolen property, if you ask some--and whether what they did was journalistically ethical. So there's at least a week or two's worth of reading in the tech/media critic blogosphere. (For my own sake, the only person I'm really concerned about here is the poor guy who misplaced the thing. I just can't bring myself to care too much about Apple's "secrets" being revealed a bit early, nor, given my already extremely low opinion of modern journalism, bring myself to muster much outrage about what Gizmodo did.)

In other potentially ethically-challenged tech activity, Facebook has once again decided that it knows more about what you want to reveal than you do, by turning information public that you used to be able to keep private. Here's how Facebook describes it:

Now, certain parts of your profile, including your current city, hometown, education and work, and likes and interests, will contain "connections." Instead of just boring text, these connections are actually Pages, so your profile will become immediately more connected to the places, things and experiences that matter to you.

And they go on to imply that there are all sorts of opt-out options, but I read stuff like this a fair amount and have always found FB's explanations of what they are or are not doing completely confusing. Here's the Electronic Frontier Foundation's take on it:

Today, Facebook removed its users' ability to control who can see their own interests and personal information. Certain parts of users' profiles, "including your current city, hometown, education and work, and likes and interests" will now be transformed into "connections," meaning that they will be shared publicly. If you don't want these parts of your profile to be made public, your only option is to delete them.

In this case, as is almost always the case, I think Facebook is in the wrong. But they are wrong about so many things -- from information policy and privacy policy on their site to matters of user interface design. Unfortunately, they have cornered the market on easy ways to connect with far-flung family and lost long high school classmates you'd completely forgotten about. So there we all are.

So what do you think? Should Gizmodo have bought the phone and published the information? Should Facebook stop messing around with its "privacy" policies and clarify what it will and won't do with the information you put on its site? And how much of a pain is it that we, the users of these technologies, have to think about the implications of the ethical choices companies make? (Some day maybe I'll do a ranty post about Apple's ridiculous App Store control freakery.)

Work Break-Up

Work Wednesday  

I had a bad break up last year. I'm still shaking off the feelings of inadequacy, sadness, distress and dread that accompanied it. I felt a bit like a teenager, unsure of myself, and navigating untested territory. I needed chocolate to get over it.

It was with a client. 

I have been a fundraising consultant to non-profit organizations for nearly nine years, and I worked as a staff fundraiser for over 15 years prior to that. I have a broad range of experience in all facets of fundraising, and pride myself particularly on understanding organizational and interpersonal dynamics in the workplace. I have been praised for my management style, I have raised tons of money, and my clients like my work. I often have long-duration consultancies, lasting multiple years and spanning a varied scope of work. I have learned when it is time to dig in to a job, and I have learned when it is time to say goodbye.

In this case, it was time for goodbye.