Multi-Generation Vacation

Fatherhood Friday
 

How old were you when you stopped going on vacation with your parents? High school? College? Post-college?

And when you stopped, when did you start again? I mean, at a certain point after you got married and started having children of your own, did you start taking vacations with your parents and your kids?

My parents are pretty proud of the fact that they are of a different generation than their parents. They are "younger" - physically more active and emotionally more engaged in the lives of their adult children (relative to their own parents) and, especially, in the lives of their grandchildren (again, relative to their own parents.)

Most of the time I think its a great thing. I really enjoy seeing my parents play with my kids for hours on end. Plus, when they come to visit and stay with us, my kids wake them up and not us - meaning both my wife and I can sleep late on Saturdays!

But I really am having a difficult time getting them to understand that when it comes to vacations, they shouldn't expect an annual trip with us. We're at the stage with our kids where we want to have experiences and create memories that are just our core family. Nothing wrong with sometimes going away with extended family, but the multi-generation vacation is not a given.

And even if my parents kind of sort of understand that we might want to go away without them, they only really seem to be truly accepting of it if its just our family. But if we choose to go away with, say, another family we're friends with, forget it. Its as if they've been displaced in the hierarchy.

I think the real challenge here is managing expectations - both theirs and mine (and my wife's and kids'.) I'd be curious to hear how anyone else out there navigates through the multi-generation vacation expectations.

(photo credit - travelmuse.com

Comments

[Katherine]

We are *so* struggling with this issue right now. We have typically taken two vacations each each with my parents, but this year it somehow got bumped up to four vacations! Yes, I realize how insane this sounds. But it's nice to have them along for child care and two of those vacations are to their house for one-week in winter and summer. I'll be interested in hearing about your progress in delicately broaching the issue!