CurrentMom

I'm a Freelancer. Where's My Maternity Leave?

Work Wednesday

Just over six weeks ago I had a baby. Just over five weeks ago, exactly a week after the baby was born, a great job opportunity came my way. While the gig wasn't a sure thing, it had the potential to become an ongoing and well-paying job. As most freelancers know, when an opportunity like that comes your way, it's hard to ignore. In this uncertain publishing climate, freelance writers in particular know that turning down the opportunity to write for a good publication on an ongoing basis is a bad idea. A really bad idea. But I was on maternity leave. Or was I?

For a freelance contractor, maternity leave is tricky to figure out. Katherine's post a few months ago, Women Entrepreneurs and Maternity Leave  provided some very sound advice about how to plan for a maternity leave. I found it reassuring to read her recommendation to announce your pregnancy on a need-to-know basis with clients, mostly because it was what I had been doing. However, this job opportunity created a problem for me.

Obviously, the client needed to know something, but what should I tell them? Did I say that I'd had a baby a week ago and, that after having been on nearly two months of bedrest prior to the birth, I was an exhausted, drooling mess? As my teen would say that seemed like, TMI. Did I politely say I was on maternity leave for the next month and ask if they could wait that long? That seemed like a good way to lose a good gig. I truly didn't know how to handle the situation.

Desperately Seeking The Beauty In The Big Blowout

Truth Tuesday

I just witnessed two children tear each other apart.

Not so much with their hands, but with their words. Biting words. Harsh. Intended to sting.

Both kids in tears, yet they kept at it. And at each other. It was ugly. And uncomfortable (for me, for sure).

Oh wait....the best part? The kids....yea.....forgot that part...both mine. All mine! My two loving children. Except they weren't loving. More like hating. Of each other. 

The Art of Eating What You Want, Even With Toddlers at the Table

Meal Monday

When my family sat down to eat the other day, I looked around the table, perplexed. When did we start eating exclusively on small plates? When did I stop drinking anything interesting with dinner? When did savory crackers and fabulous cheese appetizer disappear off the menu?

No, these aren't calorie-reducing steps we've adopted. They're the little things we have been doing since our 21-month old son joined us at the table. In him we are blessed with a good and flexible eater, but we have had to navigate around his need for us to have exactly the same food, on the same plates, NOW. Hence the small plates (my astute husband noticed that when we have bigger plates, it makes him think we're eating different meals), the avoidance of caffeine, soda or alcohol (he WILL grab the glass when I'm not looking), and the elimination of appetizers (gotta get to the point, no time for lingering before sitting down).

I'm happy to have made these changes to how we eat and only a few changes to what we eat. I've adopted some approaches to the menu that ensure we get what we want, and so does he. Check them out and let me know if they work for you:

• Go post-modern: Deconstruct the meal. One of my favorite brunches is a fresh, toasted bagel, coated in a thin layer of cream cheese, capers, red onion, a salted slice of ripe tomato, and sliced green olives. That's a little complicated for a toddler. But he loves all the components. He'll eat the bagel, he loves olives and tomatoes, and oddly, he'd eat a jar of capers if I let him. So I break it down. I give him all the pieces, he's happy and I'm happy.
• Dress it up, dress it down. A nicely grilled breast of chicken, some great veggies and fluffy rice make a fabulous blank canvas of a meal that your kids are likely to enjoy. But maybe they're a bit boring for you. So, cook the rice in a little bit of broth, add some sauteed onions, and top with dried cranberries or sliced almonds at the table. If they are sauteed until sweet, your toddler won't notice the onions, and only if your toddler is interested in the nuts or fruit does s/he have to eat them. To the chicken, add a great sauce, spicing it up for yourself, and providing the opportunity to introduce new flavors to your child one bit at a time.
• Turn it into a sandwich. One of the most fun things about having a toddler around is having the leeway to eat with my fingers again. I've found that pretty much anything tastes good to a young toddler if it can be eaten with fingers in the form of a sandwich. Beans and rice, if wrapped in a tortilla, go down very easily. A grilled cheese can be loaded with veggies and lean protein that will go unnoticed.

If these tips don't work for you, it's always worth it to go the extra mile to encourage healthy eating in your child. I have enjoyed this book's recipes, and hope you will, too.

The Virtuous Cycle of Business Networking

Startup Sunday

When I was first considering launching my own business, networking was the last thing on my mind. I figured I would find a couple of steady clients and get things humming along without having to market myself or engage in much business networking.

Boy was I wrong.

My first clue was when my good friend Phuong, also a freelance writer, encouraged me to go out on my own and even introduced me to one of the editors who gave her steady work. I was stunned that another freelancer -- theoretically competition, even though we were friends -- would help me sign a client. But I wasted no time in pitching stories to this editor and happily started work on the first one.

Phuong, who's on my unofficial board of advisors, also encouraged me to join a business networking group with other freelance writers. Again, I was a little perplexed as to how we'd help each other when it seems we'd be competing, but I complied.

It wasn't too long before I saw the wisdom of her advice. My two business networking groups became an invaluable source of advice and a reality check for all the question that arise in the day-to-day of running your own shop, such as:

Playing in the Workplace Sandbox

Sharing Saturday  

I’m feeling something I don’t feel very often anymore – I’m experiencing being out of the central ring of power in a work setting, and I don’t like it.

For the past nearly nine years, I have been an independent consultant, managing two or three clients at one time, working truncated hours and spending the majority of my afternoons with my kids and their homework and their activities. My client work is mostly conducted from 9:00 am – 3:30 pm, with a lot of checking of emails at night after the kids go to bed. Occasionally I have evening work meetings, which I generally enjoy, because it’s a chance to dress up and play in the sandbox with the adults. 

One of the best things about being a consultant is that you don’t have to engage in any unproductive down office time. You go in, you have your meetings, you make your recommendations, and you leave in time for the school bus. And for the most part, I appreciate this type of detachment from the work place.