CurrentMom

Stung by Google Buzz

Image by Lyn Millett via Flickr

Technology Thursday

Google has really stepped in it with the launch of their latest product, Buzz. Here's their blog announcement about it. They appear to still be trying to make a splash in the social networking space, and apparently wanted to avoid some of the problems that plagued them with Google Wave. In particular, one of the complaints about Wave was that you would log in, and there'd be no one to "wave" with. So this time, for the new product, Google decided to seed each person's contact list based on people they email with from their Gmail accounts. Umm, bad idea. And, to add to the annoyance, it was hard to understand how to turn this off. And it was all turned on automatically without so much as a "by your leave." Lawyers' and journalists' frequently-emailed contacts were exposed. Abusive ex-spouses gained accesses to contact lists. Basically, a full-blown privacy nightmare.

Business Insider, before some of the fixes that Google has deployed said:

A Google spokesperson tells us the followers lists are public by default so that people can quickly find new people to follow. Obviously, that's a good thing for Google, which is hoping to get as many people using Google Buzz as soon as possible. It's also meant to be helpful for users. And for those who are unconcerned with telling the world who they email most, it is. But for everyone else, it's terrible.

It gets to a deeper problem with Google Buzz: It's built on email, which is a very different Internet application than a social network.

MSNBC walked through some of the privacy issues and offered suggestions for how to adjust some of the defaults:

A Working Mom's Winter Olympics Addiction

Work Wednesday

After my ten-day-long involuntary snow-cation (thank you, Snowmaggedon), I couldn't wait to get back to work. Still, I was relieved that my daughter's school system and the federal government declared a two hour delay on the return day. Not just because of icy sidewalks, snow-clogged traffic lanes, and delayed metro trains. It's because I stayed up too late - until well after midnight - the night before watching the Chinese pair figure skaters clinch the gold and silver medals at the Vancouver Olympics.

I'm an Olympic junkie. With a fixed addiction for the Winter Olympics. (In fact, I'm sitting in front of the TV right now blogging while watching the women's luge final.) I'm absolutely riveted by the speed, strength, and grace of the skaters, skiers, ski jumpers, snowboarders, sledders, lugers, and other athletes. (Of course, the tragic death of a Georgian luger in a training run reveals the other side - danger - of these Winter Olympics sports.)

I love the spectacle of the Opening Ceremonies even if their reported $40 million price tag seems callous and vulgar in this worldwide recession. I stay glued to the TV despite the commercials every two minutes. (O.K., I'm exaggerating. Just a little.) I lap up all the behind the scenes drama - the syrupy love stories, the comebacks after life-threatening injuries and illnesses.

And this year, I'm following the six moms - six working moms - on the U.S Olympic team. That's six moms out of a total of 93 female competitors on the U.S. Olympic roster.  To put this in perspective, there are only 17 dads out of 123 male athletes competing for the United States.  This is not your preschool playdate crowd.

Working Mothers Come Out of the Shadows

Startup Sunday

Photo by laihiu via Flickr.

Working mothers must periodically make the choice: do I explain when I have a family commitment? Or do I simply say that I have a scheduling conflict? It's not always an easy decision, but when in doubt, I'd encourage working mothers to come out of the shadows and acknowledge that you do have a life outside of work. You may be surprised by the results.

Recently, I was working for a new client on a project, alongside another independent contractor. The other contractor and I were discussing when to touch base about our progress and I suggested Friday at 2:30 p.m., since it's the one day I pick up my daughter from school at 3:25 p.m. I could practically hear her relief through the phone as she agreed, commenting that it would give her time to get her son from school shortly after 3 p.m. It was quite a working mothers moment.

If I hadn't been the first to broach the subject of school pickup, do you think she would have mentioned her son? Probably not. We would've missed the working mothers bonding opportunity, but more importantly, we each might have continued to feel tense about our family obligations -- not that we were hiding them, but that we wanted to keep them from appearing to intrude on the project.

Snow and Grouchiness and Gratitude

Sharing Saturday (but written on Monday before the second storm because I'm convinced that our power will go out again and I won't be able to post)  

I'm really grouchy and don't feel like writing at all. We've just dug out from under two feet of snow and  the National Weather Service is telling us to expect another foot tomorrow. My little block in suburban Maryland was without power for nearly 48 hours in bitter cold weather. The only saving grace was that instead of the usual outages we have in the summer, this time we could easily preserve our refrigerated food in the snow. Too bad the icicles hung off our noses as well.

The kids are clearly home from school for the duration. There was no Wii, no television, no way to watch the movies-that-I-stood-on-line-for-an-hour to take out from our local video store when our power was out. There was certainly blessing in this, but to be perfectly honest, I have to remove my "electronics are the bane of our children's existence and can you believe that they spend 7.5 hours on them a day" hat. I really would have liked some of those 7.5 hours to be filled with electronics when we had nothing but snow and books and food and board games in the dark to comfort us. And I desperately wanted to catch up on the last season of "Weeds."

When Harry Ditched Sally: Parenting During Divorce

Family Friday

While the marriages of John and Elizabeth Edwards, Mark and Jenny Sanford, and Tiger and Elin Woods have flamed out in a most spectacular and public fashion, most divorces I have witnessed (among both clients and friends) have produced far less drama.  Nevertheless, debate rages over the lasting effects on the children of such dissolved unions. 

In your mid and late twenties, weddings seemed to occur every other weekend; once you hit your thirties, everyone started having babies.  If you're pushing forty or beyond now, a substantial number of your peers are likely divorcing now.  Perhaps you are considering divorce, or in the process of it, and wondering how this will affect your kids.

In answer to the question "Does Divorce Harm the Children?" my therapist-answer is annoyingly equivocal:  It depends.  It depends on the precursors and circumstances; it depends on the psychological state of both parents before and after the divorce; it depends on the continued financial stability (or lack thereof) of both parents.  All these variables ensure that no blanket statement about divorce and children will suffice. 

In my opinion, it's not divorce itself that harms children; rather, it is all the unpleasant baggage that often accompanies it.  But such baggage can accumulate regardless of whether or not a couple actually divorces.