Therapy Tuesday
Overshadowing the teamwork and joy of the Olympics is the long-awaited press conference recently called by professional golfer, Tiger Woods. Questions have been surfacing over the blogosphere and the news circuit: would his apology be enough? What details would he reveal? Is he truly sorry? What about his golf career?
While we have the tendency to look at celebrities and the fish bowls that they live in with great curiosity, at times, we forget their humanity. Standards are applied differently. With this in mind, we can turn to Tiger Woods. But before we do, maybe it's important to look at how we process our own misdeeds.
Making mistakes reminds each of us of our own fatal flaws. Errors point out to ourselves, and perhaps others that we are far from perfect. While many of us can accept this as fact, the application, in and of itself, is a whole different matter. Psychologically speaking, this falls into a concept called "cognitive dissonance." As human beings, we fight to maintain cognitive harmony: that is, our thoughts and actions remain congruent. Cognitive dissonance comes into play when either our thoughts or our actions differ. An example would be the idea that a person might hold that they are faithful in their relationships. Dissonance can occur in several ways with this example. Perhaps this person has unfaithful thoughts. Or perhaps the person acted unfaithfully under the influence of alcohol. Or perhaps the unfaithful act occurred intentionally. Any of these scenarios (or countless others) creates the internal feeling of imbalance and discomfort: the idea of being a faithful person has become unhinged.
To resolve the emotional conflict, a person would have to do one of several things: change their internal construct (i.e: I'm a faithful person), change their behavior, or learn to tolerate the discomfort of the struggle between the two. Much easier said than done!
So now, let's turn to Tiger. His apology seemed to have all of the correct elements: he acknowledged his wrongdoings, he commented on the take-away messages that he has been learning through this experience, and he has outlined how he will be different in the future. As I watched his apology, (which in some ways reminded me of the public spectacle of a witch hunt), I was struck by a single thing. I did not hear any affect (or feelings) to his apology. It appeared to be calculated (which of course it was--he was reading at the press conference) and devoid of emotion, except in the parts where he asked the press to refrain from using his family as part of their stories.
I want to believe Tiger. I realize that his apology serves as a good example in many ways. It normalizes the need to apologize. It provides a template for others and can serve as a teaching tool. Tiger's apology also reminds us that celebrities cannot escape their humanity or their mistakes. I sincerely hope that Tiger Woods is making the most of this time to learn about himself, to repair the breech he has caused within his family, and to be the best person he is able to be. These are things that we can all take from his example.
Picture by: SubZeroConsciousness
Tiger Woods has apologized to everyone and accepted that what he did was very wrong. Tiger confirmed he needs help and that he is receiving rehab to address his issues. Tiger said he wants to regain balance in his life to save the two things that are most important to him, his wife and his children. Tiger is trying to put his life back together and he has a right to do so. I wish them all the best. It is time that Tiger and his family move on with their life and for the media to get off their back!!!
Posted by: Carmen | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 05:55 PM