A Mother's Pro-Choice Mantra

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I am 47 years old and quite wise in the ways of preventing pregnancy. However, if by some crazy chance I were to get pregnant at this late stage of life, I know what I would need to do.  I am not about to move back into the baby business with my youngest of three teetering on the brink of independence.  I am done, absolutely and positively done with having babies.  My energies must go to raising my three children and to pursuing the many pursuits I have in mind for the second half of my life.

There is no question in my mind that I would end the pregnancy. It would be the best choice for me, and the best choice for my family. And thankfully, living in a large metropolitan area and at a time when abortion is still safe and legal, I know that I would be able to address the issue quickly, if need be.

So I was feeling quite prickly a few weeks ago as I watched the trial of Scott Roeder, the man who murdered Dr. George Tiller, the brave and remarkable Kansas doctor who performed abortions when most other doctors had stopped.  I also was following the Focus on the Family anti-choice ad that ran during the Super Bowl.  And my blood pressure has been rising.

To be absolutely clear – I am a pro-choice, almost single issue voter.  I came of age in the mid-70s, when abortion was among the top issues on the feminist agenda, and I spent many years of my young life marching, advocating and working for choice, including at stint at NARAL Pro-Choice America (just NARAL back then.)  A woman's inalienable right to choose was my calling. 

I honestly didn’t think that I would be facing these same battles as my children came of age. 

One of the surprising things about becoming a parent has been how it has highlighted for me the great civil and human rights struggles of our days.  Rather than becoming more conservative, as many people warned would happen as I aged, I feel even more strongly that it is my responsibility to leave the world a better place for my children and their children.  

While our energies were raw and passionate when we were young and fighting the good fight, now I see my work to be deliberate and more calculated to make an impact.  I carefully choose those issues in which I involve myself because I have so little time to spare.  And it has become clear to me recently that a woman's right to choose continues to be one of the most important issues of our time. Roe v. Wade may be in tatters, but it is still the law of the land and I intend to keep it that way.

Thankfully, I have never had to make this choice, despite some nail-biting times in college and despite some terrible scares in my very-much-wanted pregnancies along the way. But no matter how difficult such a choice would be to make, I have always had a choice, and my partner and I would be the only people who would know the right thing to do at such a time. Not the government, not Ralph Reed.

My children and their future partners must have the same choices.  Women across this country must have those same choices.  I will not rest from this battle until our rights are secure.  I am ready to head back into the trenches, after having been sitting on the sidelines for a number of years, and work to make sure that no one takes away my or my children's right to choose.

It is a battle that has yet to be won, and sadly, given what I see in the headlines today, one that will likely take me to the end of my days. 

Note: This is a rewritten version of a previous blog post.

Comments

[Scott]

As long as this country permits women's bodies to be used as a political pawn and a wedge issue this struggle will never end.

[Rachel Gertzog]

In the spirit of tikkun olam and the dream that the future will indeed be inhabited by my offspring, I, too, want them to have the choice that Roe v Wade guaranteed us so many years and miles ago. With your drive and spirit, you will encourage all of us to fight that fight to the end of our days. Karen, so well said.

[aimee]

I will fight right alongside of you - just tell me where and when. No one has the right to tell a woman what choice she must make if she is facing an unwanted pregnancy. And I don't care what propaganda the right to life people spread around, it is never an easy choice. Our generation has always had that choice, and I think we've taken it for granted. For our mothers and our daughters we must make sure it will always be there.

[Lisahirstcarnes]

Wow, powerful piece. Amen, sista! I'm fighting right there next to you. Thanks for writing.

[Stacy]

Karen, This moving post ultimately shows why ensuring that women continue to have reproductive choice is life-affirming. I was particularly struck by your statement that becoming a parent has made you more passionate about making the world a better place. In a similar way, I feel that becoming a parent has only strengthened my commitment to reproductive choice. Being a parent is a huge responsibility and a woman should have the right to make the choice to take on that role or not. It is not in the best interests of the child, the mother, or society to force women to give birth.

[Susan Katz Miller]

Yes.

[Abbi Lichtenstein]

I could not have said it better. I'm along side you!

Abbi Lichtenstein