Hoop it up ... like Barack Obama

Fatherhood Friday

That President Barack Obama is a sports guy isn't news, but his men-only basketball game is. Whether it's bad politics or not isn't for this forum. But to all the dads out there I have one bit of advice: be like Barack. And to all their wives: you want your husbands to be like Barack Obama. 

Like today's moms, dads spend a lot of time in a lot of roles. After spending all week as a dad, husband, career man, etc. there rarely is enough time or energy to simply be a guy. Some of you might be thinking, "well, okay, but that's a luxury, or even just a reminder of days gone by." I'm not proposing we need to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to live a beer commercial lifestyle, but I think guy time is much more than a luxury. It's a necessity.

I play in a weekly basketball game that I've come to realize has brought more balance to my life than I could have imagined when I first started. Not only does playing in it make sure I get regular exercise but, much more important, it gives me time to hang with other guys. In between or after games we get to talk about, well, whatever. 

The topics of conversation don't really matter. It's the chance to talk with friends (or even people I hardly know) and simply rebalance. Maybe we'll talk about innocuous topics, like sports or politics, or maybe we'll talk about real life stuff, like jobs and families. And whether it's a chance to simply balance the other parts of our lives by doing or talking about "guy stuff," or if it gives us perspective to take back to our jobs, homes and families, it makes us better men.

And that's why our wives generally encourage us to play hoops. They recognize that it improves our relationships with them and our kids. Plus, every once in a while they really get a kick out of hearing what we talked about. If we tell them, that is.

It doesn't matter if it's hoops, some other sport or something non-athletic - if all dads could find the time once a week to do some social activity with just guys, both moms and dads will benefit. I have no idea how the politics of Barack Obama's basketball game will impact its future, but I'll bet Michelle isn't too upset that he plays in a regular game. After all, maybe there is a distinct connection between his regular game and their very romantic and healthy relationship we hear so much about. Think about it.

Comments

[Katherine]

I totally agree with this post. My husband exercises regularly and it makes him happier, more balanced and a much better father and life partner. Personally, if I were Michelle Obama I would prefer my husband to have sports time with no women present!

[Lyn]

I reacted on several different levels to this story.

First of all, I thought it was a completely nonsense thing for our esteemed media to harp on. Profoundly un-newsworthy. But I expect nothing less from "journalism" these days.

That said, there IS an issue with regard to women in the workforce and men using their traditionally male 'playtime' (golf, etc.) to also do work, networking, advance careers, and so on. To the extent that the President is also bonding with work colleagues (e.g., Cabinet members) and women are excluded, this is a potentially detrminental practice for the women in his Administration.

But, on another level, Presidents are typically isolated and it would very hard for him to do something like TNH Guy describes - that is, with just 'buddies' who are not also work colleagues on some level.

But I do think it's more complicated than simply 'let the man hang out with his buddies now and then' in Obama's situation.

In the general case, though, 'guy time' for Dads or 'gal time' for Moms should not be a big deal.

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I agree with this blog post. Guy time is a necessity. It makes no sense to criticize men's only activities like this one. Though Lyn, you make a good point too -- when it's part of the workplace like golf games and women are excluded, that's a whole different story.