CurrentMom

“Helicopter Parenting”: Some Commonsense Advice

Family Friday

Popular in the 1950s and 60s, the tabula rasa or "blank slate" theory of child development posits that a baby is like an empty canvas onto which a parent can paint pretty much anything.  Provided the right guidance and a lot of love, this theory gushes, your child will thrive.  Conversely, if there is anything "wrong" with your child (e.g., ADHD, homosexuality, general nonconformity), the blame lies squarely with the parent.  

Increasing understanding of genetics and biological influences has largely debunked the blank slate theory.  Emotionally, however, many of us still cling to its vestiges.  For some of us, this manifests as a strong and ultimately unhealthy need for control of the child’s environment.  In my opinion, the so-called "helicopter parenting" phenomenon, in which parents hover around their children’s academic and social circles to ensure optimal outcomes, derives from this need for control.    

Distinguishing parental involvement from parental control is crucial, but not always easy.  However, if you find yourself attempting to create an unrealistic, artificial world for your child, in which disappointment and unfair treatment occur infrequently if ever, you are likely overinvolved in your child’s life.

Technology Elsewhere

Technology Thursday

On "vacation" (ha ha, not really - trying to squeeze in some work whenever I can, but we are traveling and visiting some friends & family) for a few days; in the meantime, a few interesting technology blogs worth a gander:

Summer Days Driftin' Away (Or A Working Mom's Seasonal Guilt)

Work Wednesday

I'm not a guilty working mom. I love my children and I love my work. I'd like to work a little less, but I already work less than full-time. (Although I wouldn't exactly call it part-time. With my Blackberry, it's more like full-time minus.)

I take pride in the fact that, post-children, I still have office phone and fax numbers (and a .gov email address) listed in more than one alumni directory. And I think my kids benefit from living in a household where both mommy and daddy go to work, take care of our family, and, occasionally, clean up. And from residing in a domestic situation where mommy and daddy make enough money (combined) to afford to live in a nice house in a semi-urban suburb and to save for our children's college educations and our retirement. (Well, at least until the market tanked.)  No regrets.

Except for the summer. I feel guilty in the summer. Something about the elevated temperatures must heat up my insular cortex - the part of the brain that's connected to guilt.  (And other social emotions like lust and disgust.  At least that's the hypothesis.) Or maybe it's the high humidity that steams up my perspective.

Anyway, now that it's June, my seasonal solicitude has kicked in.

Airplane Pricing Secrets Revealed!

I feel as if I finally cracked the code to save money on airplane tickets. For years, I dreaded calling the airlines because no matter how justified my complaint was, I never seemed able to get a refund. I'd spend hours on the phone arguing over fares or service and the only thing to show for it would be a red face and high blood pressure.

No more. I've discovered the secret: be nice.

Baby Yogurt Cakes

Meal Monday

Do you want a cake that is delicious and an absolute breeze to make? Have I got the cake for you!

There is a French yogurt cake that has been making the rounds. The ever popular Dorie Greenspan has a recipe (see also here), and the equally beloved Ina Garten has her version of Dorie’s recipe. Ultimately, I went with Molly’s version on Orangette.