Family Friday
As I've mentioned before, when I became a parent, I began to process tragic news stories in an entirely new manner. Upon reading a heart wrenching item, my mind instantly creates a video of the scene, and my children and I play starring roles in the drama. Usually, such videos become too painful to watch, so as I shudder, I consciously perform a mental shut-off.
So it has been with the horrific case of the Miami serial cat killings. One of the feline victims belonged to a six-year-old girl, and the unenviable task of explaining what happened fell to her parents. When my mental video of that scene begins playing, I shut it off quickly!
When I was about eight years old, my two pet rabbits fell victim to a neighborhood dog (the canine in question allegedly belonged to a retired Orioles player who routinely allowed it to plunder the area at night). The perpetrator somehow broke the hutch door, then chased the rabbits down as they tried to escape. My obese little fluffballs succumbed quickly – one died immediately (probably of a heart attack) and the other turned up dead a few days later in a neighbor's yard. Apparently she was cornered in front of a shrub and she too seemed to have died of fright.
Although very sad, I was not particularly traumatized by this, as I knew on some level that this was the natural order of things – the dog was merely doing what dogs do. No malice, no cruelty.
We know, however, that if a traumatic event involves deliberate, manmade intent, psychological effects persist for longer and are more disabling. In other words, a natural event such as a hurricane or tornado may traumatize, but as these do not involve human cruelty, recovery from the trauma may be somewhat easier. And of course what makes the Florida case so awful is the calculating and sadistic nature of the cats' murders.
Before anyone was arrested, I fantasized rather gleefully about the killer's punishment. I imagined announcing his release via television and Internet, then simply turning him (or her) loose in the victimized neighborhoods. However, now that an alleged perpetrator, an 18-year-old boy, has been arrested, the fantasies have ceased. Instead, I find myself thinking about his family (again - before I became a parent myself, I likely would not have given them a second thought).
When considering his family, it's very normal for your immediate, visceral reaction to be: 'They must be horrible people! What a twisted family! Who would raise a child like that!' Of course, these are irrational responses that arise from a self-protective instinct. By distancing ourselves from the notion that this could ever happen to us, we temporarily allay our own fears.
The suspect's family, including his mother, father, and stepmother (who owns eight cats!) has already received threatening phone calls. I advise people to withhold judgment of the alleged perpetrator's family. Now that they have made international news, their lives will never be the same, regardless of their son's actual guilt or innocence.
As for the six-year-old girl who lost her cat, Tommy – I was glad to see that her parents chose to withhold the gory details regarding his demise. Revealing these would likely traumatize her further. At the same time, I would suggest that they not lie about what happened. She will eventually learn the truth, and lying about this may undermine future trust.
By Jenny Douglas Vidas
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