The Sick Kid Shuffle

Work Wednesday

Inspired by the Obamas' romantic date night in Prague during the President's recent European tour, my plan was to blog about the beneficial effect on a working couple's marriage of not just a date night - but a whole date week - in a foreign locale, far away from daily responsibilities and routines. That was before we returned from our anniversary getaway to Lisbon, while we still had a rose-colored 50,000 foot view of our lives. (Thank you grandparents!) And before my three-year old refused a yummy-looking cupcake at the birthday party we attended the morning after we arrived home. And well before he - who battles naps every weekend  - said he wanted to sleep. A clear sign of trouble ahead.

For the next few hours, I tried to deny that anything was wrong.  I slumbered away my jet lag while my son napped for an exceptional three and half hours. My fantasy ended when he woke up and vomited all over the place.  The thermometer confirmed reality - 102.5 Farenheit, 39.2 Celsius - either way, it meant that we'd be doing the sick kid shuffle all week.

Like many working parents, my husband and I don't have a lot of alternatives when it comes to sick child care. In fact, we have none. Our kids are in daycare, we don't have any relatives in town, and we wouldn't ask any of our friends to watch a sick and possibly contagious kid. Our babysitters all have day jobs and emergency nanny care in our area is cost-prohibitive. (Our situation appears to be typical - see the responses to a hilarious and revealing question recently posted by the podcasting Manic Mommies - "How many hours is too many for a fever-ridden 6-year-old to spend playing video games while mom tries to work?") 

Plus, there's something about one of my usually energetic children felled by fever that brings out my most protective instincts. Tending to an unwell child is, to me, an essential element of parental love. So, anything over 100 Farenheit means that either my husband or I dip into our sick leave and spend time at home administering Tylenol, reading aloud, and screening videos.

We negotiate, deciding who can most afford to miss work that day. We trade off "at home" days and sometimes split shifts. Today, my husband's obligations trump mine so I'm finishing this post in front of my computer with my son in my lap, his head cradled in my arm. He's contributing by pressing keys and boasting that he's helping mommy "wite." I'm waiting for Sesame Street to start.

Occasionally, when I'm home, work intrudes and I put my multitasking skills to use.  I've learned to e-mail a colleague and entertain a preschooler simultaneously, and to cover a teleconference while cuddling. (It's critical to have a mute button on your home phone for this trick.) And I try to make the most of nap time although sometimes I'm so exhausted that I nap too! My husband and I are able to pull through the virus of the week because our agency has a generous sick leave policy, our work assignments usually are flexible, and our respective bosses are understanding.  We're fortunate.

On Monday, my husband stayed home while I went to work. There, I learned that the baby of a close friend at work had developed a serious infection and was undergoing a battery of medical tests including a biopsy. So far, the preliminary test results have ruled out the worst but the extent of the baby's illness is still unclear. So, while I do the sick kid shuffle today, knowing that my son will soon recover, I'm holding my friend and her family in my heart, and hoping for the best.

Comments

[LG]

I'm dreading to thought of dealing with something this. My husband doesn't have a flexible job and doesn't get sick days; nor is his job the kind where he can work at home. That said, we've been incredibly lucky. Ellie is 15 months old and just now in the midst of her first big cold - nothing we have to stay home for.