Family Murder-Suicide and the Billotti-Wood Tragedy

Family Friday

This week offered up more than its fair share of heartbreaking headlines, including the Parente family murder-suicide in Baltimore and the suicide of Freddie Mac CFO David Kellermann.  And just a few miles up the highway from where I live, Christopher Wood killed his wife Francie Billotti-Wood and their three children (ages 5, 4, and 2), then took his own life. 

As it turns out, Francie was a fellow blogger.  And I challenge anyone - parent or not - to read her blog without crying. 

Francie's writings reveal a bright, vibrant woman with a wicked sense of humor.  After years in the workforce, she quit her job to stay home with her children.  In her blog, she described her growing passion for environmental issues and her joy at being home full-time with her children.  I laughed out loud at her description of the "Ikea effect," in which families exit a department store much grumpier than when they went in.  She also documents such personal issues as her struggles with pregnancy weight gain and postpartum depression, mentioning that Zoloft and Brooke Shields' book helped her. 

Throughout the first two years of her three-year blog, Francie expressed homesickness for the town in central Maryland where she grew up.  More than anything, she wrote, she wanted to move from Florida back to her hometown so her children could grow up near family and friends.  Less than a year ago, her wish came true.

After reading her blog, I almost feel that I know Francie.  Her husband Chris, however, remains a cipher. 

Newspapers have reported the bare facts: Chris was a salesman with CSX Railroad and had recently been promoted.  He commuted to New Jersey from Maryland during the week.  Neighbors and fellow church parishioners described him rather generically as "a nice guy." 

Even Francie's blog only mentioned Chris in passing.  She described him as "sweet."  He bought her a video recorder for Christmas one year, and he fixed her phone when it broke.   In one of her last blog entries, however, she did mention that Chris did not deal well with change, and that moving out of his Florida "comfort zone" had stressed him out. 

One psychotherapist, after reading Francie's blog, concluded that there seemed to be a "distance" between the couple, and that Francie was "kind of going off on her own track."  This may be true, but we will never know for sure.  An alternative explanation may be that Francie simply respected her husband's privacy and did not feel comfortable airing too many details about him on the Internet.

There was certainly a great deal going on that Francie never mentioned in her blog.  Newspapers have fairly consistently reported that the couple could not sell their Florida home, and their mortgage and credit card debt totaled almost half a million dollars.  

Some have used the word "evil" to describe Chris.  That characterization may be appropriate for some spouses or parents who kill, but in this case, I don't think it applies.  As a therapist, I believe that the stress Chris was experiencing simply exceeded his ability to cope.    

A male colleague of mine, a family therapist who specializes in men's issues, agrees with many of the experts who argue that, from a psychological perspective, our failing economy has hit men disproportionately hard.  More so than women, men often link their self-worth to their ability to provide financially - and as their financial success dwindles, so does their sense of self. 

Francie's blog clearly shows that she was comfortable expressing herself, and she could admit imperfections fairly easily.  She had outlets for her stress, including her blog, her friends and family nearby, and over 500 friends on Facebook.  

What outlets did Chris have?  What could have helped him?  There are certainly men's groups around, where men can talk about their stressors in a relatively safe environment.  However, these groups may very well preach to the choir, as the men who most need them may be the least likely to go.  

What are your ideas?  What would you suggest for men experiencing the kind of stress that Chris faced?

By Jenny Douglas Vidas

Comments

[BJC]

Thank you for writing this - I am from the area and know some of the people that were closest to her including the babysitter that saw Chris last. I think a huge problem that men have is pride - they have emotional issues - and we know Chris had these issues since he was a teenager. Men do not seek out the appropriate help they need b/c of their pride - thinking they should be able to handle it all on their own and not truly looking at themselves for who they really are. Also, people become complacent after a while and would rather keep the peace as opposed to facing the real issues at hand. Young couples (with children) are faced with a tremendous amount of stress.

I don't have the answers but I do think a lot of societial pressures play a part in why people (men) do not seek the help they need and try to play a part that they are not fit for. Women/Wives are also at fault - women tend to migrate further into their childrens lives when their is conflict in the relationship. This is not healthy b/c they are essentially ignoring the husband and making the situation worse either knowingly or not.

Their are so many factors that play into what happened here. I just pray that these stories will help people look at life differently and help them make positive changes in their lives.

Many blessings.

[Rosie Meysenburg]

Tragically, Christopher Wood was taking two SSRI antidepressants, Cymbalta and Paxil, plus BuSpar and a benzo. This was reported in the Frederick News Post several days ago.

BuSpar is an anti-anxiety drug which, unlike the anti-anxiety benzodiazepines, raises serotonin levels in the brain. Dr. Ronald R. Fieve, M.D., best selling author of "Moodswing" states in his book "Prozac" that BuSpar should not be given in conjunction with an SSRI as it can raise the possibility of mania and psychosis.

The Physicians Desk Reference states that SSRIs and all antidepressants can cause mania, psychosis, abnormal thinking, paranoia, hostility, etc.

Go to www.SSRIstories.com where there are over 3,000 cases, with the full media article available, involving bizarre murders, suicides, school shootings [48 of these] and murder-suicides - all of which involve SSRI antidepressants like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc, . The media article usually tells which SSRI antidepressant the perpetrator was taking

As for the Wood family, may their souls and all the souls of the faithful departed trhough the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

[Generic Viagra]

When you order generic viagra you will never fail at getting an erection so you will loose the fear which holds you back from engaging in sexual intercourse.

I will continue to order generic viagra and I hope that all men who suffer from impotence will do so as well, since to order generic Viagra online is the best idea to save up a couple of dollars.