Working Parents Boot Camp

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

Every once in a while, my kids start to drive me crazy. Perhaps the toddler goes through a phase of separation anxiety at daycare drop-off, or the preschooler starts a whining campaign for sweets or develops a mysterious stomach ache on school days only. That's when I know it's time for some intense, hands-on mothering.

It sounds counterintuitive, but when I feel overwhelmed by my children, the cure is 24-7 exposure. It's a little secret of working parents that we sometimes breathe a sigh of relief when leaving the kids and beginning the commute to the office. The peace and quiet can be a welcome respite. However, when you grow annoyed at any little request by your kids, it can be a sign that you actually need more time together.

When I take a day off from work just to spend with my kids, or devote a weekend exclusively to their needs and activities, their behavior shapes up almost immediately. And even when it doesn't, my confidence in my own parenting snaps back to full.

That's not to say that it's a walk in the park to take a break from child care. When we're on vacation with the kids, the first few days feel like the beginning of an abandoned exercise routine. I have to retrain my parenting muscles to deal with the nonstop demands of children.

But by the end of a week or two of together time, we're all more relaxed and in sync with each other. I certainly have become reacquainted with the rhythms of the kids' appetites and sleep needs. And I love the feeling of strength and competence that comes with mothering a noisy brood effortlessly -- managing diaper changes, meal prep and cleanup, kisses for boo-boos and homework checks like a magician spinning plates.

It's sort of a boot camp for working parents. If you don't know what I mean, give it a try. The next time your children are acting up, see whether a day of one-on-one time cures their misbehavior. If you can't afford a vacation day during the week, give them a weekend (or even one weekend day) of mommy or daddy time and let them plan the agenda. You may be surprised to see how it improves your relationship and tones your parenting muscles.

I'd love to hear how your experiences compare with mine. Please share!

Comments

[Lyn Millett]

Sounds right to me! Can already see hints of this with my 8-month-old.