By Tanya Bunich
Recently I have been struggling on where to send my son, Sammy who is 10, for school next year. I have three kids and they are all in a small private school in Baltimore, Md. Last year, against his wishes, I moved Sammy, from an all boys private school he was in to join my girls in the co-ed private school they are all in today. I moved him because there were over 28 kids in his class and it made it hard for him to learn. It's easier for him and most kids to learn in a smaller class (it cost me $1400 for that confirmation). Reading comprehension and math are harder for him, he needs to be able to visualize in his mind what he is doing in order to understand and a large classroom makes it tougher. It happens to be that I am a big believer that most traits in our kids, positive and negative are genetic, as this one is no different. My brother and I also grew up with the same learning difference, the only difference is back then, we just got bad grades, were labeled as underachievers and it didn’t cost my parents $1400 to have us "officially" tested, we SURVIVED!!! and are far from underachievers today.
What does any of this have to do with relationships?
Well, the main reason I am struggling as to where to send Sammy in the fall is due to social reasons. Sammy is a very social and athletic kid. He was captain of his football team this year, MVP of his baseball team last year, straight A student and not because he is mine but an all around great kid. He is now in a class/grade of 12 kids, coming from a class of 28 kids and a grade of well over 120 kids.
I believe most of our strong, true friendships, the ones that last a lifetime are built in school. Now an "adult" I have met and become "friends" with people in all sort of places, mommy and me groups, the kids schools ( 3 different grades), non-profit groups that I am involved with, ect. My closest friends today, are ones I met in school and or college.
Most of my friends now are ones I have met by circumstance, like our kids are friends or we are working on community project. For me, it has been a big, unpleasant lesson. I have found that these are not my real friends, each time I get close to one of them, I always get burned. I give a lot to my friendships and expect the same, but unfortunately these are friends by circumstance. That's what I have found to be the big difference of true friendship, the ones we made when we were kids and no one had a selfish agenda.
That’s why I want to put Sammy in a school where socially he can develop those kinds of life lasting friendships that are true to heart, with people who love him for him and not for the carpools he can drive or for his connections that they may benefit from.
Comments