CurrentMom

A Pregnant Pause

Work Wednesday

Guest post by Peggy B. Hu

I've been mulling over a brief conversation I had recently with a grocery store cashier. As she was ringing up my purchases, the cashier was chatting with a co-worker who was complaining that she had just been allowed to go on break — 45 minutes before her shift was due to end. What kind of break was that, she asked? 

Continuing her complaint, the co-worker told my clerk that she was pregnant and said she believed she was entitled to more frequent breaks as her condition progressed.  My cashier said she would be interested in knowing the store's guidelines herself. Turning to me, my clerk said that she, too, was pregnant!

I was startled this stranger had told me such a personal fact, and for a few seconds I didn't know what to say. Eventually I offered her my congratulations and commented that it probably would be hard to stand around all day if I were pregnant, particularly during the third trimester. The clerk said she wished she had a desk job just so she could sit down.

Hoping I wasn't saying something insensitive, I told her that I was very lucky I have a job that doesn't require standing. In fact, I was put on bedrest the entire second half of my pregnancy to prevent premature labor and delivery. Because of the nature of my job, though, I was able to continue working from home on a laptop – lying down the whole time – until a week or two before my due date.

Working Moms and Marriage: More Joy, Less Divorce

Work Wednesday

I got an early Valentine this weekend. Not from any of the usual suspects - husband, kids, or mother. (Yes, my parents still send me a Valentine's Day card every year!) And, well, it wasn't really a Valentine. But it did feel like something to savor. It's a New York Times article about working women and their happy marriages. Happier (or at least more stable) than those of women who don't work.

In She Works. They're Happy., the Times' "Well" columnist, Tara Parker-Pope, reviews a number of studies on modern marriage (and cites some anecdotal examples) to conclude: "Over all, the evidence shows that the shifts within marriages — men taking on more housework and women earning more outside the home — have had a positive effect, contributing to lower divorce rates and happier unions." One reason: without the pressure to choose a husband solely on the basis of his "provider" capabilities, women marry men who are more likely to share in childrearing and domestic life.

What a relief! Most of the time the news about working women - and working moms especially - is dismal. Or at the very least, fraught. So, it feels good to read a positive piece.

And it makes sense to me. (Even though the happiness level in my own marriage has been challenged in the past few weeks by sickness and sleep deprivation.) I've long thought - in my limited eight years of marital bliss (well, mostly) - that some rough level of equality in education, social status, and income between partners helps a marriage prosper. That a more or less "marriage of equals"  - if not in the Shakespearean but in the professional sense - produces a happy couple.

Good Reads and Helpful Resources

Technology Thursday

In the absence of inspiration for a particular topic for this week's Technology Thursday post, I thought I'd share a few websites that I've found to be useful resources. If there's a common theme for these sites it's that they reside in the same cluster in my (woefully under-organized) RSS reader and that I visit them only semi-regularly. But I always end up looking at them again for one reason or another.

Here we go:

A Working Mom's Lot of Leisure (with thanks to The Washington Post)

Work Wednesday

On Sunday morning, my husband "let" me sleep in. Until the late-for-my-current-life hour of 9:15. Even better, the kids were busy playing together in the sunroom so I had some time to read the newspaper. And, best of all, my husband had already made the coffee. A full pot of strong coffee.

Plus, we had no plans! At least not until after lunch.

This is about as leisurely as it gets in my life.

So, I actually had the time to read the featured article by Brigid Schulte in Sunday’s Washington Post Magazine, The Test of Time: A busy working mother tries to figure out where all her time is going.

I leaped in. Maybe this article would clue me in on my own time crunch. Give me the magic formula to reframe my schedule. But the title of the WaPo piece turned out to tell me all I needed to know: The author's time was split like an ever-dividing mother plant cell.  Not into two daughter cells (as in mitosis). But into a job cell and a kids cell that frequently (and frustratingly) overlapped. Schulte writes, "At work, I arrange carpools to band practice and ballet. At home, I write e-mails, and do interviews and research for work."  Nothing surprising here.

But I read on anyway. 

Out in the Cold: Sexist Advertising and Working Mums

Work Wednesday

I've been tempted by this endless cold spell frosting the entire East Coast to write a post about the frigid working mom. Wait, no! What I mean is the freezing working mom. But a long rant about how it's too cold to get out of bed and get the kids bundled up and propel myself to work in the biting arctic air probably is pointless. And I wouldn't get much sympathy from our readers in colder climes.

But I'm still going to write about what's going on outdoors. Although not here. There. In England. Across the (frozen) pond. 

Last week, a U.K. trade association, the Outdoor Advertising Association, launched an ad campaign designed to promote the effectiveness of billboard advertising. It hired an agency, Beta, to design provocative ads for the sides of buses and city billboards, and a related public discussion website, BritianThinks.com. Their first choice of outdoor ad:

Career Women Make Bad Mothers.

The $25,000 "Become Your Own Boss" Entrepreneur Challenge

Startup Sunday

Guest post by Melinda Emerson

Do you fantasize about starting your own business?  Have you recently been let go from your job and decided to become your own boss?  Do you have a great business idea, but don't know where to start?

What if you could start your own business with a small business coach walking you step-by step through the process for FREE? Well, have I got a deal for you. 

Inspired by the fantastic movie Julie & Julia and in celebration of my new book, Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months; A Month-by-Month Guide to a Business That Works, I am announcing the $25,000 "Become Your Own Boss" Entrepreneur Challenge.

I am offering one lucky business owner the gift of weekly, one-on-one personal coaching for a full year. If you are an early stage entrepreneur with one year or less in business or someone looking to start a business in 2010, this opportunity is for you. 

My mission as a small business coach and start-up expert is to end small business failure. I believe that the best way to help entrepreneurs is to provide a foolproof method to start a small business. Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months is not a book about writing a business plan, it's about planning your successful small business

One of the main selling points of my book is the Emerson Planning System, an innovative, five-step process for starting a successful and profitable small business.

You may be wondering, "Why does it take 12 months to start a business?" 12 months is an ideal time frame to start a business, but it's not meant to be restrictive.  I have been an entrepreneur for more than 11 years.  Based on my experience, the longer you plan, the more research you do, and the more money you save, the more likely you are to succeed in business.

In addition to FREE one-on-one coaching, the selected business owner will receive an autographed copy of Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months as well as the accompanying workbook, life planning journal, and audio CD "10 Things You Must Never Forget in Business." This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity worth over $25,000. You supply the energy, the idea, and elbow grease — and SmallBizLady supplies the plan.

To enter, entrepreneurs need to write an essay explaining in 500 words or less why they want to be an entrepreneur and what their basic business concept is. A short biography is also required, along with a headshot, email address, website/blog URL, and names used on social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn). No purchase necessary to enter. Coaching with Melinda Emerson will be 50 minutes a week for 52 weeks. The winner's only requirement will be to blog weekly about his/her entrepreneurial journey!

Submissions are due to Melinda@melindaemerson.com by 5 pm on February 5, 2010. The winner will be selected by March 5, 2010.

Melinda F. Emerson, Twitter's @SmallBizLady is a seasoned entrepreneur, professional speaker, and small business coach whose areas of expertise include small business start-up, business development and social media. She hosts #SmallBizChat weekly on Twitter for emerging entrepreneurs.  She is the founder and CEO of Quintessence Multimedia, an award-winning strategic communications firm. She has created productions for such companies as Johnson & Johnson, Verizon, Enterprise Rent-A-Car and Comcast. Her book Become Your Own Boss in 12 months; A Month-by-Month Guide to a Business That Works will be released in March 2010 by Adams Media.

The Next Decade: What's In Store for Working Moms (and Dads)? Hint: Meow!

Work Wednesday

As I scroll through my 2009 blog posts trying to come up with new topics for a New Year, I realize that I have an eclectic blogging personality. Some of my blogs have focused on the "Big Issues" working moms confront, while others are entirely about trivial stuff. A few take a look at the wider world, while some focus on the home front. (Not necessarily in a flattering way, e.g., my recent snowstorm-inspired reflections on housework.) I usually can't tell you why I'm drawn to a particular topic or idea on any given Wednesday.

But sometimes I can. Like today. Today's blog is a response to several pieces from the past week or so on the future of women - mainly, professional women - and work.  Actually, it's less of a reaction and more of a tour through some of the articles, blogs, and other pieces I've been reading in the past week or so about women and workplace changes. It provides some context - some background reading - for my more personal musings from last week about finding, creating, and refreshing my own work-life balance. Turns out that the at the beginning of our new recession-led decade, working women - and the issues of child care and work-life balance - are all the rage.

Losing a Mentor: Memories of Deborah Howell

In work and in life, we count ourselves lucky to find mentors to show us the ropes and introduce us to the people we need to know. Deborah Howell was one such mentor for me. Her senseless death this weekend while vacationing in New Zealand was a personal loss for me and colleagues who knew her well.

It's also a tragedy for journalism. Deborah Howell was the one of the first women to run a major daily newspaper, the St. Paul Pioneer Press, and the first female Washington bureau chief, for the Newhouse newspapers. The outpouring of editorials and blog posts this weekend thoroughly cover her contributions to journalism, so I'll just add a few personal reflections.

At Newhouse, Deborah gave me my big break in journalism, the ticket to the big leagues: a job as a national correspondent. I was grateful for the opportunity, but a little scared of her -- anyone working for her knew enough to worry about her quick temper and profane mouth. As aptly captured in a fond remembrance by Andy Alexander, her successor as Washington Post ombudsman: "Some journalists swear like sailors; she swore like the fleet." My new colleagues helpfully informed me of past incidents, such as the ashtray she threw at a reporter's head during a heated debate.

Deborah and I were certainly cut from different cloth. Her sharp elbows and aggressive nature (she considered herself half Texan)  helped her rise through the ranks of a male-dominated profession. As for me -- the daughter of a proper Chinese immigrant and a New England-boarding school-raised WASP -- I can count on one hand the number of profanities I have ever uttered in the newsroom. She came to work late and stayed even later; I arrived as soon as I could drop off my kids at daycare and left promptly at 5 p.m. to make the pickup. (I don't think she knew how often I logged into the computer system -- or interviewed West Coast sources -- after their 8 p.m. bedtime.)

I didn't need to worry. My style may have puzzled her a bit, but I got the job done and that's all she cared about. For me, it was a relief to work for such a decisive editor. In story conferences, she liked or hated an idea instantly. I never saw a favorite story linger for months with a half-hearted maybe from Deborah. Anyone who's worked in a newsroom, so often a stew of rumors and favor currying, can understand what a gift it is to know exactly where you stand with your bureau chief.

It's a sad reality in many professions that the trailblazers may come to resent those who follow in their footsteps. Those women who "have it easy" and take the hard-fought progress for granted. Even worse, those of us who have the temerity to start a family and simultaneously pursue a career in journalism. This was not the case for Deborah. Under her leadership, Newhouse became one of the most diverse Washington newspaper bureaus. While she never had children of her own, she talked about her step-children and their offspring as if they were blood relatives. And when I started having babies and bringing them into the newsroom, she handed them toys off her office shelf or coffee table without a thought. As Ken Doctor wrote, "she had a hard edge and a soft heart."

In fact, I never really saw that hard edge. Maybe it's because when I knew her, in the past decade, she had mellowed. Or maybe because she wasn't as opinionated about business news, so we never had one of those famous clashes over the direction or fate of a story. Or maybe even that my preference for negotiation over argument made it impossible to pick a fight with me. Whatever the reason, I will always be grateful for the chance she gave me to write original, provocative stories on the economy, personal finance and career, rather than chasing the Washington journalism pack. Some of my all-time favorite clips are from those years.

After Newhouse closed its Washington bureau in 2008, casting loose a couple dozen of us, Deborah was one of the first on the phone, drumming up job leads and contacts. When I decided to pursue a freelance writing career, she made two introductions that quickly turned into story assignments.

I always felt protected knowing she was there for advice or networking help. It doesn't seem real that she's gone. My deepest sympathy goes out to her family. I will miss her too.

Resolving to Find Time

Image via Wikipedia

Technology Thursday

2010 is fast approaching, and with it the inevitable drafting of New Year's resolutions. I suspect many of us always have an implicit resolution of finding more time - more hours in the day to get everything done. I'm constantly scanning for ways to add efficiencies to my routines and household chores wherever possible and, of course, technology is often a help in this regard. Here are a few ways technology can be used to save a few minutes here and there as we head into 2010.

First, a mundane but useful tool is auto-billpay. I resisted this for a long time because early experiences (as in, a decade ago) were pretty annoying. But things have come a long way since then, and now I'm auto-paying many more bills than I used to. At some point a few months back I just got very tired of losing significant portions of my weekend to writing checks and licking envelopes.

A Decade of Work-Life Balance

Work Wednesday

Photo by Optical Illusion via Flickr.

I thought I'd blog today about vacation (we're in the Magic Kingdom right now!) as a counterpoint to Work Wednesday. But it would be difficult, if not overly deliberate, to disregard the proximity of the New Year on this penultimate day of the decade that ends at midnight tomorrow.

A decade that, for me, has been all about finding, creating, and refreshing, work-life balance. So, I'm going to pass on the temptation to make my own working mom's New Year's resolutions or compile my own list of top parenting trends. Instead, I'll offer a few (just a few, remember, I'm on vacation!) personal reflections on a decade that started with imbalance and ended with (rough) equilibrium. At least for the moment.

Finding. At the beginning of the of the decade - actually, the millennium (remember Y2K?) - work-life balance was barely in my consciousness.  Except to the extent that I knew that I was working too much. And that it was somehow standing in the way of other parts of my life.

So in January 2000, I left my law firm partnership and, after a month or so of traveling, I began a new job with the federal government. And found not only a new career and a cause that I cared about, but a husband, my husband, three doors down the hallway. (Actually, we lived in the same apartment building and had met before but that's a tale for another day.) While work could still sometimes be wacky, the change of job allowed me to have a saner, if less lucrative, lifestyle.