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The Still Point of the Turning World

Truth Thursday 

You inhabit the land of grief. You can’t run away from it, back away from it, ignore it. You can’t shroud it in euphemisms – “pass away” – when someone has died. They’ve died. They’re gone. Trying to make it sound easier, softer, gentler, does nothing. In fact, whenever I hear that phrase my body stiffens and I want to scream. 

My mother did not pass away. My infant son did not pass away. They did not “pass.” They died. Call it what it is. Run into it and face it down. It’s the only way to work through it.

“The Still Point of the Turning World” is Emily Rapp’s meditation on grief. Her infant son, Ronan, was diagnosed with the always-fatal Tay-Sachs disease in the first months of his life, even after she had had the requisite genetic tests. 

Rapp is sad. She is angry. She is full of questions, both spiritual and grounded. She uses words to process and delve and deny and question. She paints descriptions of her son’s first and only full year of life – of his body, of his eyes, of her pain and her husband’s pain watching him regress. 

She wonders about the hierarchy of grief. Who is more entitled to be sad? Who has experienced more pain? Those of us who have wandered in these hills understand these questions. My second son died when he was five days old, after a troubled pregnancy and five days of hope and wonder. I grieve his loss, and will to the end of my days.

How To Talk to Your Kids About Climate Change

Guest post by Chuck McCutcheon

With Earth Day here, and summertime following after that, more attention will be paid to the problem of climate change. But even for adults, it can be a confusing topic. Too many Americans still don't believe it exists, and even among those who do, there's a tendency to think that a period of colder-than-usual weather means that the effects of climate change are exaggerated.

As someone who has written a critically acclaimed book for students aged 9 and older, and who has given lectures at schools around the country, I'd like to offer a few helpful areas to emphasize, based on the questions that I most often get asked.

Climate change is real, and people are causing it. There is no debate about this among international scientists. If you or anyone you know doubts this, please look at Grist.org's handy guide. But if your children are confused, you can simply tell them that science is not just like math; it doesn't always produces a single, universally agreed-on answer.

Global warming is a part – arguably the major part – of climate change. Global warming refers to the increase in the average temperature of the earth over several years or decades. Climate change refers to global warming as well as other changes in climate, like more common and intense extreme weather, and a rise in sea levels.

Manic Monday

Truth Thursday

Oh god, it’s happened again. A terrible news story, a la 9-11, a la Newtown, that marks the end of what started as a normal Monday.

This time in Boston. Two bombs. Three people dead. Two more undetonated bombs destroyed. At least a hundred people injured. Scores more probably to come. And a nation finding itself, once more, grieving.

This is a different world than the one I grew up in. Back then, the violence and carnage was always far away, overseas (except, of course, for the civil rights movement, and the ugly and ferocious backlash against those who were fighting for their rights on our own soil.)

We thought that by living on a continent buttressed by two oceans and two friendly neighbors we would be protected forever. We thought that the stirring words of our forefathers – enshrined in the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution – proclaiming ours a shining democracy, one in which all would be equal under the law, would shield us from the horror of chaotic, despotic governments, of the hate and ignominy of the world outside our borders.

We were wrong.

For over a decade, we have lived with the now-deeply-embedded muscle memory of fear. Fear that there are forces out there that hate us, that are beyond our scope of protection. Fear that we will perhaps someday be the target of something so huge, so protracted, that Armageddon will ensue.

So we keep emergency evacuation kits near our front doors. We know the best routes out of our towns. We have plans solidified as to where to meet our family members if an attack shuts down the normal workings of our city.

French Onion Soup -- A Meal for All Seasons

Meal Monday

It's time to blog a main course and I've always wanted to capture a good French onion soup. I made this today and the house smells delicious. It's basic, easy and a hit with almost everyone loves it. This recipe is from simplyrecipes.com, though I've modified it a bit.

French Onion Soup

• 6 large red or yellow onions, peeled and thinly sliced.
• Olive oil
• 1/4 teaspoon of sugar
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 8 cups of beef, chicken or vegetable stock or a combination of the two (traditionally the soup is made with beef stock. I used Pacific organic low sodium vegetable broth)
• 1/2 cup of dry vermouth or dry white wine
• 1 bay leaf
• 1/4 teaspoon of dry thyme
• Salt and pepper
• 8 slices of toasted French bread
• 1 1/2 cups of grated Swiss Gruyere with a little grated Parmesan cheese

1 In a large saucepan, sauté the onions in the olive oil on medium high heat until well browned, but not burned, about 30-40 minutes (or longer). Add the sugar about 10 minutes into the process to help with the carmelization.

2 Add garlic and sauté for 1 minute. Add the stock, vermouth or wine, bay leaf, and thyme. Cover partially and simmer until the flavors are well blended, about 30 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Discard the bay leaf. If you like, use a hand held soup blender to puree the onions and make the soup smoother.

3 To serve you can either use individual oven-proof soup bowls or one large casserole dish. Ladle the soup into the bowls or casserole dish. Cover with the toast and sprinkle with cheese. Put into the broiler for 10 minutes at 350 degrees F, or until the cheese bubbles and is slightly browned. Serve immediately.

Yield: Serves 4-6.

Leaning In

Truth Thursday

I probably didn’t even need to read Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, “Lean In,” because by the time I actually picked it up, I had read so many reviews, and had seen so much commentary about the book and about her everywhere – and I mean everywhere – that I felt like I already knew its basic premise (but for the record, unlike some bloggers who have written about her, I did read it.) 

It’s essentially a 4^th wave feminism theory. It’s not that we need to burn our bras for independence (1^st 20th century wave.) It’s not that we have to dress like men with floppy bow ties and shapeless suits to make our way up the corporate ladder (2^nd wave.) It’s not that we have to be superwomen, balancing work and family seamlessly and pretending that it’s all rose petals and perfection, and at the same time, fight the backlash against women in the world, a la Susan Faludi (3^rd wave.)

It’s that we are still trying to find a way to be the working women we want to be, the moms we want to be, the spouses and partners we want to be, and the people we want to be. And we need tools and support to make that happen. 

It’s actually a really good message, despite its detractors. Sure, many have criticized Sandberg for being elitist, for being wealthy and white, for being high up on the corporate ladder where few women rest and therefore not being able to see down the rungs behind her, for being hetero-normative, for being married to a partner with the ability to be flexible and allow her to stretch her limits with a safety net, etc. etc. 

All of this is true. And there is the whole nagging other side of the question that she doesn’t really address – how the work world does (or does not) support and accommodate women and men and families. But none of this makes her message any less resonant in my mind.