CurrentMom

The F Word

Truth Thursday

It’s not what you think, although I am a renowned potty mouth.

And it’s not even what I’ve written about before in many ways – feminism. Although it is in some ways.

It’s about self esteem. It’s about being self conscious. It’s about life, and love, and what I wore.

It’s about being … fat.

I had been thinking about writing this even before the latest skirmish in the fat wars.  Not the "obesity” wars, which are all about keeping our children healthy, Michelle Obama, the war on food insecurity and food deserts, economic privilege and social gaps – all guised in the mantra that we are trying to be more healthy as a nation.

No, the fat wars. In which one complete and total bully, who is 61-years-old and still hasn’t figured out that words hurt, or that being the tallest, the skinniest, the most beautiful is not what our children should be striving for in this world, has decided that his clothing should not be modeled by anyone over a size Medium.

This is what Abercrombie CEO Mark Jeffries has said about his stores:  “We go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong.”

In other words, no one fat. No one who needs a Large or, god forbid, and Extra Large size. You will not find them at Abercrombie. He has been quoted as saying that he doesn't want fat chicks shopping in his store. Really.

How To Talk to Your Kids About Climate Change

Guest post by Chuck McCutcheon

With Earth Day here, and summertime following after that, more attention will be paid to the problem of climate change. But even for adults, it can be a confusing topic. Too many Americans still don't believe it exists, and even among those who do, there's a tendency to think that a period of colder-than-usual weather means that the effects of climate change are exaggerated.

As someone who has written a critically acclaimed book for students aged 9 and older, and who has given lectures at schools around the country, I'd like to offer a few helpful areas to emphasize, based on the questions that I most often get asked.

Climate change is real, and people are causing it. There is no debate about this among international scientists. If you or anyone you know doubts this, please look at Grist.org's handy guide. But if your children are confused, you can simply tell them that science is not just like math; it doesn't always produces a single, universally agreed-on answer.

Global warming is a part – arguably the major part – of climate change. Global warming refers to the increase in the average temperature of the earth over several years or decades. Climate change refers to global warming as well as other changes in climate, like more common and intense extreme weather, and a rise in sea levels.

What to Keep in the Fridge: Try a little Cumin Yogurt Dip

Meal Monday

My maternal grandmother was always on a diet. To her -- and the rest of us -- that meant a fair amount of deprivation and weight that never seemed to change. I do remember, though, that Nana always kept cut up vegetables in a bowl of water in the refrigerator. Her chilled crudités were there in case she needed "a little snack." She tended to raid the fridge in the middle of the night, when I suppose floating radishes and celery sticks looked particularly appealing (doubtful).

I do think having prepared fresh vegetables on hand helps with the instant gratification need we all have these days; when I'm really hungry the last thing I want to do is wash, peel and trim a bunch of radishes or a red pepper.

This Christmas, Learn the Fine Art of Saying No

Guest post by Kim Kash

Does your holiday season consist of rushing from craft fair to Christmas party to shopping mall to family gathering? Are you feeling overcommitted, overstimulated, and overstuffed? Then it's time to learn the fine art of saying no. People think saying no is so ... negative! But a kind-hearted no often creates more relaxation and joy during the holiday season, for the giver and the receiver. Let's talk about how to say no without causing hurt feelings or offense to your loved ones. It's a wonderful thing, no?

• No drama. Sometimes there are holiday get-togethers that just don't interest you. When Cousin Mary Lou invites you to her yuletide singalong this year, you can respond with a simple no. Just say, "I'm sorry I won't be able to join you," or "No, I can't be there, but thank you for inviting me." Don't waffle about it. Don't say yes and then fail to make an appearance, as that can cause hurt feelings. Don't say you'll try to stop by, because that sends poor Mary Lou the message that her big shindig is on your B List. Most importantly, don't go overboard with a bunch of drama about how bad you feel to be missing the event. It's just not necessary. (Plus, if your performance is really convincing, she may change the date so you can be included. Nooooo!!!)

Parting Ways

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by: dcjohn

"All good things come to an end."  

"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

The Long Goodbye...

As tried and true as these phrases are, there is a reason that they endure. Something humans are innately poor at is saying goodbye. We avoid it, we deny it, or we convince ourselves that it's just "see you later."

There is something final about goodbye. And our goodbyes build on one another throughout our lives. There is an aspect to parting that is akin to a loss. Perhaps its temporary in terms of timing, or more permanent. (By the way, loss doesn't have to equate to death, although those are very deep losses that we feel).

We lose something when we part ways. It might be company, memories, fun, or something else. Yet we also gain. Saying goodbye can mean emotionally paring down of who matters to you. And not all goodbyes must be sad or fill us with longing. Sometimes, we can't wait for goodbye (like leaving a job that we have not enjoyed, or family that we don't get along with). No matter the reaction, goodbyes are telling.

So why is it important to make a deal of goodbyes? For the superstitious there is the rationale that you might not see that person again. For the sentimental, it might be getting your feelings across. Both of these positions can be potentially vulnerable. Human beings don't seek out to be vulnerable. It's uncomfortable to say the least. I would argue that saying goodbye helps to neutralize feelings of loss and to normalize them. It allows us to practice being uncomfortable (even for a second) so that we have tools to call on when the goodbye is of a more permanent nature.

It is in the spirit of goodbye and wanting a definitive ending that I let you all know that this is my last post as a regular contributor for CurrentMom. I'm leaving open the possibility of being a Guest Blogger, but in looking at my schedule, I am unable to continue regularly blogging. I have enjoyed (as I hope you have) blogging and my forays into the blogosphere. Hopefully my words have been helpful in some way.

I wish everyone a peaceful holiday and a wonderful new year.