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The Flamingo Dad

Fatherhood Friday

Last weekend, The Wife and I were channel surfing and came across one of my favorite movies of all-time, The Flamingo Kid. If you're unfamiliar with the film, it stars a young Matt Dillon as the son a a blue-collar Brooklyn family in the early 1960s who lucks into a job at a posh club in Rockaway.

Enthralled by a lifestyle he never knew existed - and on the cusp of college - he moves emotionally further away from his family, especially his father. Instead, he develops a father-son relationship with the the club scion, who has taken him under his wing. (Sidenote: for similar reasons another of my favorite below-the-radar films is A Bronx Tale.)

When I was a teenager I first fell for this film. I've always had an affection for 1960s culture, especially music. As a suburban New Yorker, I could relate to the locale. Plus, at the time, I was a big fan of gin rummy, which is an underlying theme in the movie.

But the thing that probably made me really appreciate the movie was the father-son motiff. The reason I was influenced by 60s music and gin rummy was largely because of my dad, who, not incidentally grew up in NYC (the Bronx, not Brooklyn, but still) and "escaped" to the suburbs.

Beyond that, though, my teen years were pretty stressful between me and my dad. So when Matt Dillon told his father in the film to stop trying to control his life it sure sounded a lot like the conversations in my house. I related to Matt Dillon's character. We might not have been blue-collar, but we were working-class. And I was going to move up and on how I saw fit.

Fast forward to today, having watched the movie for the first time in probably 20 years. While I remember well the feelings I felt relating to the Matt Dillon character, it was his father who really resonated with me. No longer a teenager ready to graduate into the world, I'm a dad who dreams great dreams for his kids. While he didn't execute with perfection, the dad was clearly trying to do not only what he thought was best for his son, but doing it as best as he could.

As a fan of film - especially from the 60s, 70s and 80s - I have a growing list of movies I can't wait to rediscover with my own kids. They are still pretty young now but no doubt we'll have our fair share of tension as we enter the teen years. I'll be curious how I view this film then.

(photo credit: http://photos3.fotosearch.com/bthumb/CSP/CSP671/k6710257.jpg)

The Allure of the Past - A Reflection on "Midnight in Paris"

Truth Thursday

I went to see "Midnight in Paris," the recent Woody Allen movie, for a second time last week.There are so many reasons that I am so drawn to this love letter to Paris in the 1920's – the city's utter beauty, heightened by the gorgeous cinematography, being the first. As one character says of this city of my dreams, "every street is its own special art."

The conceit for the movie is that a young, blonde, California screen writer has dreams of becoming a novelist, heads to Paris, and every night at midnight, winds up being hurdled back in time and hanging out with the his idols, the literati of the era – Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein (played by the great Kathy Bates), Cole Porter, even Djuna Barnes. In conversation heavily laced with alcohol, Hemingway muses about being brave and true.

There are smaller story lines featuring Picasso and the surrealists - Dali and Luis Bunuel. Man Ray shows up to drink Calvados. We encounter T.S. Eliot, and there is a great line about measuring out contemporary life with coke spoons. Josephine Baker shimmies in an early dance scene.There is a detective who for all the world is reminiscent of Sydney Greenstreet's Ferrari  in "Casablanca." The modern day characters spend time contemplating both Rodin's sculptures and Monet's water lilies.

As a romantic, as a writer, as someone who has always thought of the 1920's as a golden era for its new freedoms, its sartorial coolness, its attitude and its intellectual and artistic output, this film is an aortic line to my heart. But I have been wondering about how it has become been such a hit with the more general public. Seeing it a second time has helped me understand.

A Royal Pain?

Therapy Tuesday
Photo by: dcjohn

Unless you live under a rock, you have been unable to miss some of the hoopla surrounding the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. It is seemingly inescapable: no matter what type of media I look at, I can't miss a headline (or several) of this blessed event. Somehow, the Today Show has ordained itself "Royal Wedding Central" and for the last week and a half, has several clips each hour on something wedding related.

I certainly understand the appeal: in the United States, we have no true royal equivalent (although some would argue that the way we revere celebrities might rival a royal treatment). We've had families that have come close, such as the Kennedy's, but that family didn't have the staying power of the British Monarch. So it begs me to ask the question, "Who cares?"

I think the only way that I can start to understand this question is to try to envision having a family that was untouchable. One who was so beyond ordinary people (even those in the highest tax brackets), that anything related to them brought up wonderment and spectacle. I recently saw the Oscar winning film, "The King's Speech" which shows the other side to being a Royal. In some ways, those in such high places can exacerbate some of the most ungainly human characteristics. No one wants to deal with their own "stuff" and the film highlights how those with even more to lose are more resistant to it. Through the film, I was able to have compassion to the Royal Family, who did not choose to be of noble birth.

It seems that in this way, it reminds us of all of our humanity as a link that we share. However, I wouldn't mind having my humanity without having to worry about day-to-day struggles such as being a mom, balancing work and home, and certainly finances. Although now that I think about it, I can imagine that Royals have at least the first two struggles in common...Their weddings are just one heck of a show!

Stars Wars with my son and Princess Bride

Fatherhood Friday

Due to the snowstorm that hit the East Coast right around the holidays, my parents were unable to fly to the Midwest to spend time with us and the kids. The result was lots of unexpected, unstructured family time for us. We found ourselves watching more movies as a family than ever before.

This was a pretty big deal for our seven year old, as we collectively realized it was time to move from G to PG as our predominant guide to which movies to watch. And first on the list, after a loooong time of talking about it was Star Wars.

Now, tell this to any guy under the age of 50 and their first response is "Did you start with the original 3 movies, or did you do them in chronological order?" Wives and mothers, you may not know it, but this is a big philosophical deal. Go ask your husband. They've discussed it with their friends.

We started with the original, from 1977. Luke, Princess Leia, Han Solo. Brings back memories. I hadn't seen it years and it was great. Our son thought it was great. Nonetheless, I had to keep stopping it to explain what was going on. Explain, that is, to my wife.

She probably hadn't seen any of the Star Wars movies in 20 years. The problem was, in her memory, all three movies (Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi) blended together. I love her dearly but she may have eliminated a critical rite of passage for our son when she asked as the credits rolled, "Wait a second, when does Luke find out Darth Vader is his father?" (In case you don't remember, that's at the end of Empire Strikes Back.)

Knowing that the primary audience of this blog are women, if you just shared this story with the men in your life, they just shook their head and sadly laughed at my predicament. I told my wife that for now on if she is to watch old movies with us she has to submit her questions in writing!

Fortunately, we had a whole week to recover from this calamity, and that meant a whole week's worth of movies. I think the highlight for our son was The Princess Bride, which really was a fun movie to watch with a seven-year old boy. He loved the sword fights and chase scenes and hated the romance. Big surprise. But watching a very young Fred Savage mirror his response was a delight.

Now that we've opened up to our son the world of our childhood movies (think 1980s) I decided to start a list of movies that we're going to need to watch together. The Goonies come to mind. ET. Raiders of the Lost Ark (though maybe when he's a little older). Roger Rabbit. Anybody have any other recommendations?

(photo credit: http://blastr.com/2009/05/couple-celebrates-star-wa.php)

Gore Snore

Sharing Saturday   

I have now read at least 15 analyses of the Tipper and Al Gore breakup. I was just as saddened as the rest of you, as I've always liked Al despite his woodenness and have come to respect Tipper and her quest to warn parents about inappropriate music lyrics (see "The Soundtrack of our Lives.")

And I like a good love story. Or divorce story. But honestly, it's got to have a little more sizzle.

Which is why I'm much more interested in the movie "Up in the Air," which my husband and I saw a few months ago when it was actually still in the theaters.

“Up in the Air” posed a character assessment dilemma I don’t think I’ve ever before encountered (spoiler alert - don’t read further if you’re planning to see it and, like many working moms, may not have even read a review of the movie, even though it came out last year and was an Oscar nominated film. Don't worry - my seeing it in the theater was an aberration. I'm still waiting for Avatar on Netflix.)