Cheating isn't anything groundbreaking. Maybe it's not exactly the topic that a woman wants to think about, especially the week leading up to Mother's Day. So it's interesting timing that AshleyMadison.com is "reporting" that Park Slope is one of the most popular neighborhoods for cheating spouses. Closer to home, the same website reports that Washington, DC is the best city for cheating.
Yes, the same men that made these women mothers are the ones that potentially also make them single moms. In this affluent area of Park Slope, New York, where parenting is the ultimate competitive sport, the arrangement of parenting is what is considered to be the causal event of cheating.
A promise that we will also look at the flip side, because it is easy to assume that only men cheat. Let's try to look at some reasons why. Men might cheat because once their wives are busy with babies, there is less focus and attention given to them. The popular saying, "Two is company, three is a crowd" holds true in this case. Often, fathers feel unconsciously rejected by their wives, who are nurturing their babies, nursing them, and tending to their every need. Of course, this makes sense as this is exactly what involved in the early days of baby rearing. Logically, we all know that, but this dramatic shift, especially with the couple's first child, can be emotionally earth-shattering. It is hard to put words to this, as the feelings can be so dischordant with what men are "supposed" to feel about their child. Similar to their wives, they are supposed to offer unconditional love. And this is true, but at the same time, subtle resentment can be happening underneath. Women who might have been sexual and flirtatious in the early days of the couple are now tired with little energy.
I'm not trying to condone cheating. But merely to explain one origin. I'm also NOT saying that this occurs with all men.
But in the spirit of Mother's Day, let's look at women. Why might they cheat? Perhaps they feel bored, undesireable, or underappreciated by their spouse. Or they might be taking a fantasy too far. For women, cheating can begin much earlier than the physical act. The emotional connection can be all that is needed for true cheating to occur. And this emotional connection can produce the same type of guilt as physical cheating.
This is not exactly the conventional Mother's Day Post...perhaps just a reminder to value both members of the couple.