In a few short days the Mrs. and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. It has been - and will continue to be - what anyone could want out of life: a journey with many highs, a few lows, lots of promise and the best partner to share it with.
Looking at where we are now - not just where we've been together - I have one message for my wife: thanks for nothing! Not so celebratory-sounding, huh? Bear with me.
In ten years of marriage (and two years of dating before that) my wife and I have relocated to a new city 3 times, had a total of 10 different jobs (plus a few additional job searches in there!), earned 3 Masters degrees, had 2 kids, owned two houses, tried selling one but couldn't and became long-distance landlords, and moved into a different house/appt/condo 7 times.
Each one of these "projects" (with the exception of being accidental landlords) was well-thought out and made for deliberate reasons that were good for us. Nonetheless, that's a lot of big stuff to stress a couple out! It may or may not be typical, though among our wide circle of friends the long list seems longer than most.
We once figured that the longest we had gone without one of us being in school, switching a job, contemplating being in school or switching a job, moving to a new city, contemplating moving to a new city or otherwise making an in-city move was something like 7 months.
So, here we are ten years later. Last year we moved to a new city - the one we anticipate staying in for the duration. Last month we bought a new house - the one we anticipate staying in for the duration. In the past year we both started great jobs at great organizations with healthy environments and good growth potential. Our oldest son is getting ready for first grade.
For the first time in twelve years of knowing each other, not only do we not have any big projects on the horizon, we're not really contemplating any. So, as we get ready to celebrate our milestone anniversary, we are both thankful for nothing!
Of course, all the choices we made were our own. They were all good choices, leading us to life we have today. There are certainly people out there with levels of stress that dwarf ours. But as we really do enter this next phase in our life I think we've found something we were truly craving - stability.
Fifteen years ago, that might have been a negative word (and truth be told, I'm always afraid that stability could evolve into stagnation). But it doesn't mean no more adventures. It just means having a much more secure base from which to launch those adventures.
So, happy anniversary honey. Thanks for nothing. And thanks for everything!
(photo credit: bedbathandbeyond.com)