Do Grades Matter?

Family Friday

What do grades really mean?  What can they tell us about our children?

In piano, gymnastics, swimming, and school, my six-year-old daughter carefully watches and listens, then matches her responses to whatever models the teacher or coach has provided.  If she doesn't quite succeed, she tries again and again until she nails it.  As you might guess, she is every teacher's darling, and her preschool and kindergarten records reflect this.

My oldest son, on the other hand, while getting respectable grades, never quite attains the perfect record necessary for the Principal's List.  Why not?  In short, he doesn't follow the damn directions, and his agenda frequently clashes with the teacher's.  On homework or quizzes, for instance, he somehow misses the part that says "Use complete sentences" or "Explain your reasoning" (not coincidentally, he despises both).  As the song says, he hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. 

I consider my kids' respective gifts to be fairly evenly distributed.  But who do you think is going to sail through school more easily?

My daughter reminds me of a girl from my past (I'll call her "Lisa").  While undoubtedly very bright and talented, Lisa had an additional gift.  More than anyone I've known before or since, Lisa could regurgitate information in precisely the form that the teacher wanted.  Whether in academics, the arts, or athletics, she was able to spin her performance in a way that somehow flattered the teacher.  In other words, Lisa never implied that a teacher was wrong or had incomplete information.  Rather, Lisa provided the teacher with affirmation that he or she had played an instrumental role in her progress.

Lisa's style certainly reaped rewards – very high grades, many prizes and awards, and good feelings all around.  Was she brilliant?  I honestly don’t know.  I do think she possessed a very keen ear, one that received a frequency rarely accessible to most mortals, tuning directly into teachers' brains.

When I was much younger, I used to believe that grades and intellectual mastery correlated perfectly.   This belief changed forever once I started teaching as a graduate assistant.  Wracked with nervousness and insecurity, I was thrilled to find some Lisas in my classes.  I was so grateful for their presence that I had to resist the urge to upgrade them simply because they made my life easier.  As time went on and I became a more effective teacher, I was better able to separate the personalities from the performance.

My theory now is that grades and actual learning do correlate, but much more so with good teachers.  If you show that you've learned material well, you will please a good teacher, regardless of his or her personal biases, insecurities, or ego.  Likewise, if you don't do the work and subsequently perform poorly, the good teacher will be displeased and lower your grade.

With less competent teachers, there exists a much more slippery relationship between grades and actual learning, with personal issues playing an important moderating role.  (I remember being downgraded on a fairly good college paper simply because the professor did not like the poet I profiled.  How do I know this?  He told the class as he handed my paper back).

No matter the setting (public or private, co-ed or single-sex, prestigious or not), your child's school experience will likely feature a few phenomenal teachers, many very good ones, some merely adequate, and a few who are inexperienced, insecure, or simply in the wrong field.  So my advice is to view grades as a starting point for assessing your child's progress.  Then, probe deeper:

- Ask your children what they have learned about the topics in question.  Have them explain in their own words.

- Talk to your child's teachers.  Get a sense of exactly how they evaluate performance.

- In general, how respectful is your child?  Especially if your child is very bright, your child's intelligence may threaten more novice or insecure teachers.  Do some role-playing.  Help your child figure out how to stand his or her intellectual ground while not denigrating someone else.   (Not an easy skill, by the way.  Many adults struggle with this as well).  Mastering this will serve your children well in all facets of life.

Comments

[Nicole]

I have two boys who, like your son, have not always shown the greatest interest in following directions or pleasing their teachers. The challenge for me has been trying to strike a balance between encouraging them to continue to bring their own unique perspectives to their encounters with the world as presented in school and encouraging them to "go along to get along." While I don't countenance this latter approach as a general rule, it's an important skill to have in one's armament. School is ultimately a stepping stone to bigger adventures and must be mastered in order to gain admission to some of life's choicer opportunities. For now, I think the only winning strategy is teaching kids to conform. Ideally, I'd like to see schools put aside their focus on standardized assessment and look for ways to nurture and promote every child, conformist and non-conformist alike.

[Katherine]

I agree with Nicole. It is so hard to teach your children independence and speaking their mind, while also encouraging them to conform (and stand in line and be quiet and listen) to please teachers. It almost makes me want to explore private school, but I am sure there would be similar situations there.

[Jenny Vidas]

Katherine - to be honest, I think this type of conflict is fairly universal, not just in public schools. In fact, I think that, for some situations, private school can actually be worse, depending on the leadership structure. What I like so much about public school is all the layers of accountability. The school must ultimately answer to the taxpayers. If a particular teacher or other staff member treats your child unfairly, there is always somewhere to turn. Certain private schools revolve around the whims of the person who founded it and/or directs it - more of a "cult of personality" for lack of a better term. If that person doesn't like you or your child, you are sometimes up a creek. For instance, in the private school my husband attended through sixth grade, the headmistress/owner/founder absolutely despised him. In that case - it was kind of a "take it or leave it" situation - she, as the director, had all of the power. You could vote with your feet, but that was about it.