Help Wanted: Apply At Your Own Risk

Truth Tuesday

I was thinking about this job called "Mom" or "Motherhood."  

It's not exactly what one might call a "cushy job." 

As gigs go, it's pretty hard: Long hours, guaranteed pain (of the emotional and physical varieties), often thankless, financially draining and...oh yes, the roller coaster. A constant roller coaster. 

And yet, women line up for this job. Women have faith in it. They dream of it. They base their lives on it. The put their all into it. 

When I was growing up, I'd tell people that I planned on having three, four, five kids. Sounded great. (By the way, that's also when I told everyone I would marry my high school/sort-of college boyfriend and we'd live happily after.)

And I started young enough to have those three, four or five: My first one was born when I was 26, my second when I was 28.

But I stopped there. Two was just fine. I knew early on that I was in a bit (or maybe more than a bit) over my head. The control freak in me had met its match.

Yep, this thing called motherhood could not be controlled. 

As I have written before, overwhelm was my initial reaction to motherhood. It became very, very real to me very, very early on just how very, very important this job was and how very, very easy it is to screw it up. 

I have since lightened up on myself. The importance of the job has not in any way diminished, but my confidence in my ability to not totally 
mess it up has increased somewhat. 

I have also realized that there is indeed more than one way to skin a cat. Just because you do something one way and I do it another does not mean one is right and one wrong.

And more than anything, as I enter the "middle years" of this job (I now have two pre-teens), I have a profound respect for and acceptance of all of the fellow moms who, like me, are just doing the very best we can day in and day out. 

I think of my own mom, who certainly had her shortcomings. She wasn't exactly Mother of the Year. And yet I know in my heart that she did the very, very best she could. And I accept her and love her for that.

So I have to hope that my own kids, as well, will see me for the good but imperfect person that I am and that they will be happy and thrive because of me and despite me at the same time. 

All of this reminds me of one of my favorite songs "Teach Your Children" by the great Crosby, Stills & Nash:

Don't you ever ask them why

If they told you, you would cry

So just look at them and sigh

And know they love you.

Besides....do they really have a choice? One thing this position does have is job security. I'm a lifer, and so are you. This is one job in which, when the "client" says "I hate you" or "You are ruining my life" then you know you are doing a very, very good job. 

You Go, Girl. 

Comments

[Amy Holding]

Have to laugh because through my life I have always underestimated my abilities to as far as careers and challenges are concerned. Many unknowns in life were daunting for me until I jumped in and realized how easy most things are with the right preparation.

Not motherhood!!! I 100% overestimated my abilities in that department. Ran into motherhood certain I would be the best ever. WOW. What a wake up call! LOL..