My Kids, Technology and Me

Fatherhood Friday

Did you see the study on kids and technology showing that children ages 8 to 18 spend, on average, 7.5 hours each day in front of electronic devices. Seven and a half hours! And that doesn't even include time on their cellphones. (By the time they're done with school and electronic time, when do they eat?) I admit, I haven't read the study, only the news coverage but, boy oh boy, that's a lot of time in front of a screen.

I like to think of myself as pro-technology, and I sincerely hope my kids have a greater understanding and incorporation of technology throughout their lives than I've managed to have. But - and this applies to my kids as well as me and my peers - that reliance on technology seems to come at the expense of lack of social skills, that maybe only manifests itself later on. 

How many of you have 20-something colleagues who email all the time but don't seem to know how to use a phone or, horror of horrors, speak to people in person. I'm not saying they can't do it in a social setting. But a buddy told me a story the other day about two people at his company who always email each other but have never spoken. Turns out at lunch the other day they were sitting next to each other - emailing each other - but had no idea who the other was! Now, that story may be apocryphal but you get the point.

I hate to sound like a codger here, but when I compare what today's kids do for fun I can't help but reflect on my own (1980s) childhood. From the 3rd through 8th grades, nearly every day I'd walk up the street to my friend Greg's house. Other neighborhood kids would join us and we'd decide what activity we'd play. Video games were an occasional option (the original Atari!) but usually we'd play baseball or football or basketball or some other outdoors game until it was too dark to see the ball anymore.

A few years ago Greg and his wife came over for dinner one weekend night. It was early October, around 5 p.m., maybe 69 degrees out. Greg and I took a walk through a residential neighborhood to pick up a bottle of wine for dinner. Along the way we didn't see one kid outside. I remember joking that unlike when we were kids playing baseball or football or basketball, they were all inside playing the video versions.

Fast forward to today and this story about the unbelievable amount of time these kids spend on their electronic devices. It got me thinking, not only about when I was kid, but about me today. Really, do I spend less than 7.5 hours in front of a screen? And I don't just mean while I'm at work, where I was already convinced I spend more time than I wish in front of the computer. I'm talking about when I get home. What kind of role model am I then?

An hour or two of TV. A couple of hours on the computer. Constantly checking my iPhone. How much of that do I do in front of the kids? The worst, I know, is checking my iPhone for email even when I'm not expecting anything important and really have no reason to do it. Its just a habit that I now do in front of the kids.  

My six-year old isn't that interested in technology yet. No wii in our house, maybe an hour total each week on the computer, maybe an hour of television each day. But my 10-month old. If I take my iPhone out in front of him, he will - without fail - stop what he's doing and crane his neck to stare at the phone. 

While I am still blown away at the concept of 7.5 hours of electronic time for kids, I recognize a lot of it comes down to rules and boundaries that my wife and I set and, yes, role modeling. So, here's my vow: unless I have a darn good reason, like expecting something really important to come in, I'm going to try to not check my iPhone in front of the kids before my next blog in two weeks. I'll let you know how it goes.

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Photo Source: ://ycorpblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/babycomputer.jpg

Comments

[Karen Paul-Stern]

A codger indeed. Young folk don't email - they text. And they don't talk on the phone - so you can't listen in on their conversations anymore. It's all done by stealth texting. My teen is glued to his iphone and he's not even a very social kid. It's mostly music, Facebook and games. We have limits on his use time, but thos limits start to feel forced by the time they're in high school. It's a time when they need to start making their own decisions about many things, including how they spend their time.

But I hear you about beiug tethered to your own iphone, as am I. I recently completely cut out talking as I was driving and I try not to peek at email as I'm on the road as well. It's amazing what a hard habit it is to break, considering we haven't had access to this technology for very long. But I realize I have a driver-to-be in another year and that's scaring the pants off me. So I'm trying to model good driving behavior. Hoping that the laws change before he gets behind the wheel!

[Jaime Banks]

You are smart to start working on this early with your two children! From my experience, once kids get into "the screen habit," it's very hard to kick. I truly believe that electronic play is addictive, and once kids (boys, in particular) feel the rush of playing against a machine, it's hard for non-electronic diversions to compete. This is, by far, my biggest challenge as the parent of a 14 year old boy!

[Stacy]

I just read your blog to my husband the iPhone addict. He says "good luck to you." And, "yeah, right." Maybe I need to send him for a visit so you can teach him about modeling good behavior!