Playing By The Rules

Truth Tuesday

I need therapy -- or at least to have my head examined -- as much as the next girl.   

But lucky for me, I'm a writer and my blogs are my therapy: Quick, easy and cheap. 

So please indulge me this week. I think I need some therapy.   

Well, maybe not so much therapy, but to talk this one out. And this is the place. 

Some background:

My kids are both students of public schools. The public schools where I live (or at least the ones my kids attend) have dress codes. Certain color shirts and pants, and other specifics not important right now.

Generally, I love the dress code (not a uniform). It is especially easy and convenient because we generally have two seasons here in South Florida: Warm and hot. So short sleeves and shorts every day, 95% of the school year.

I joke that my kids' winter wardrobe consists of one hoodie sweatshirt and one pair of long pants, and that is generally the truth. 

But....over the past week or 10 days, we have had frigid temperatures and very unusual weather. 

My son even asked me in 40 degree temperature, in all seriousness, if school was going to be cancelled due to the cold (kids who grow up in Florida are very weak, it's a known fact). 

Fast forward to last week: Record lows. Not a huge winter clothing selection in the house.

Not many choices for my 4th grade daughter. 

So she wore jeans to school.

Jeans!!!

And her teacher decided to pick last week, the coldest week on record in these parts in at least a decade, to tell her that the jeans did not fit the dress code. That Mom or Dad needed to buy new pants asap. 

My daughter came home in tears, upset at being singled out. (She is a VERY tough girl, so I knew this was more than being spoken to by a teacher.) She told me she would wear shorts to school the next day (morning temp low 30s) if I didn't get her new pants. I told her we would try to find the right pants (by the way, only navy or khaki pants are acceptable) over the weekend. As a mom who works full time, I wasn't about to run out at 6 or 7pm on a weeknight because a teacher determined that jeans didn't work for her this week.  

My daughter was not happy, but she wore the jeans again. 

And got singled out again.

I promised I would fix things, because that is what I do. And of course, I didn't want the teacher thinking I wasn't a mom who was on top of things. 

So over the weekend, I spent a couple hours in Walmart and Target looking. And looking. And looking. There isn't much of a long pant selection to begin with here in Florida and coupled with the unusually cold weather, well, the pickings were slim. 

Very slim.

I might also add that I hate to shop. Hate it. And I had family in visiting (left them so we could go pants shopping -- I was not happy). 

So I was annoyed that the teacher couldn't cut my daughter some slack. Annoyed at having to spend my weekend shopping. Annoyed that I had to leave my family guests behind so I could waste time shopping. And finally, annoyed that after all that, no pants. 

So I wrote the teacher an email Monday morning. And told her what had happened. Explained that I understood rules and as an avid rule-follower myself, I do everything possible to see to it that I and my kids do what we are told in most cases.

To add insult to injury, my daughter was so scared of what the teacher's reaction would be on Day 3 of wearing Unauthorized Jeans that she insisted on wearing shorts to school. I told her if she wore shorts, she would be in a foster home by evening because someone would report me for sending her that way to school. But she insisted, so I gave up told her to bring pants in her bag. 

At this point, I was trying to prove my own points and lessons to so many people I began to lose track.

I forgot about the shorts/jeans situation after the early morning. And by noon, I received an email back from the teacher apologizing, agreeing and explaining that she had sent my daughter to the restroom to change into her long pants immediately. 

I felt vindicated but exhausted. Lots of time and effort into something that made little sense in the first place. I tried to do what was right, while showing my child that rules are important AND illustrating that sometimes real life is more pressing and important than just following a rule for the rule's sake.  

Especially when my daughter told me that by the end of the day it was so hot that she changed back into her shorts. 

Comments

[Katherine]

Wow, what a story! I'm glad the teacher finally saw that you were right. And especially that I'm not the only parent who can't summon up the time to fix the wardrobe/do a mammoth school project/provide snacks for the class at the drop of a hat. We need some notice, people!!