An Overscheduled Mom Slows Down

Startup Sunday

I was racing out of the house, an overscheduled mom late on a summer day. My afternoon had been lined up so beautifully: my daughter's music class at 3:30 p.m., the bank with my business partner at 3:40 p.m., a meeting with our marketing guru at 4:30 p.m. and then a networking event at 6 p.m. But I had taken an extra few minutes to perfect a project for a client and worked past my planned departure time.

Now I would be late for every single appointment.

As I screeched out of our driveway, I could feel the tension tightening my chest. The only thing I hate more than being late is being kept waiting. As I mentally ran through my to-do list, it started to feel so oppressive and impossible to achieve that I wanted to scream.

Then I heard a little voice in my head. Even worse than being late, what if you get into a car accident? We don't want Mommy getting hurt! (That voice sounded remarkably like my husband.)

I thought:

What's the worst that happens? If I'm five minutes late for music class -- well, the teacher was 10 minutes late last week! And my business partner doesn't care if I keep her waiting; neither does Ellen. They're the easiest people to work with, always understanding and flexible. As for a networking event, being late is de rigueur!

I slowed down.

I know this overscheduled mom is not alone. We all cram so much into every day that it seems there's hardly a moment left for anyone -- much less ourselves. Between work, the kids, the spouse, the parents and friends, everyone wants a piece of mom.

It's easy to lose perspective and feel that the priority looming in front of you is the only one that matters. That if you disappoint a child or a client or a business associate, she will never believe in you again.

In reality, we're all human. If you're running late, it may give someone else a much-needed break. And more importantly, by focusing so much on the minutiae you can lose sight of the bigger picture.

For me, the big picture is that I chose a life of self-employment in order to have the flexibility to put a 45-minute music class for my daughter in the middle of a working afternoon. So when that sometimes feels inconvenient, I have to remind myself it's what I chose -- and of the other benefits that go with that choice.

Someone once told me that in parenting, you have a thousand opportunities to make a mistake every day. That might seem like a lot of times to be tested on your mothering skills. But it also means that any mistake is only going to count a tiny bit, and you'll soon be presented with an opportunity to do the right thing. For me, that actually feels promising.

How do you keep things in perspective? Do you have a little voice in your head, and what does it say to you? I'm guessing many of us could use a lesson in slowing down and giving the overscheduled mom a break.

Comments

[Tanya Bunich]

Great blog!! No, your partner likes it when you are late, its the only time she feels early. Late is my middle name! There is no way to be a business owner, mom, wife, daughter, sister & friend and NOT be late and stressed!

[highchairdiner]

Thank you for these great reminders! I feel the same stress all the time, and mitigate it with similar tactics. Another motivator for me is wanting to raise a child who doesn't believe that running around like a crazy person is the only way to live. We -- literally -- do our best to have him stop and smell the flowers.

[Ellen]

I love this post too! Glad I was able to offer you some Limeade and a chance to catch your breath when you got here....10 minutes EARLY! :)

[JenniferMargulis@jeffnet.org]

It's good to remember the need to slow down. But so hard to do sometimes!