Many relationships just exist. Many people just live day in and day out. At best, they co-exist. What happens is that we just get wrapped up in the day to day responsibilities and forget that once there was an us.
We wake up and go to work, come home and take care of the kids, then run some household chores, dishes, bills, laundry and pass out in bed, wake up the next morning and do it all over again. Weekends are a bit different and there is usually no work, but if you are like me, I am a taxi cab driver for my kids on the weekends. I often tell them to paint my car yellow and black. I get in my car at 9am and usually drive my kids back and forth from one activity to the next till about 9pm, if I’m lucky I get a dinner break. Somehow, I find that even more exhausting than a work day.
I have read many articles and books on relationships. Most of the advice all boils down to the same basic concepts. Spend quality time together, concentrate on how you speak to each other, communicate your feelings and expectations are some of the top ones.
Although I agree with much of the advice when I'm reading the material, I often say, yeah that's a great idea and yeah I'm going to try that, the same thing always happens. The regular routine, which I call groundhogs day, takes over and there go all my great intentions!
So what's the solution? I have this notion that some couples just have it and others don't. That doesn't mean their marriages are perfect and they never disagree and fight (that doesn't exist), what it means is they have a chemistry, a connection that gets them through the rough spots. It's the sparkle in the eye when they look at each other and that feeling in the gut when they touch.
Yes, marriage is hard work, and time is not a luxury in most situations, but it's the same as our 9-5 jobs. There are ones that are hard and still enjoyable and we look forward to and there are jobs that are hard and we just can't seem to get right and never enjoy.