CurrentMom

Just Say No! to Volunteer Burnout

Family Friday

by Jenny Douglas Vidas

Who could forget Nancy Reagan's advice to us 1980s teenagers?  Of course I am referring to the ubiquitous but much-maligned "Just Say No!" anti-drug campaign. 

Although I have scoffed at this simplistic advice in the past, I increasingly find myself using this phrase with clients whose volunteer commitments are impinging on their ability to parent and to take care of themselves.  In short, maintaining a healthy work-life balance requires the ability to say no. 

Calendaring - High Tech or Low Tech?

Technology Thursday

Calendaring vexes me. I'm a big fan of information technology and digitization of information.  My husband is also.  And yet neither of us have really found a calendaring solution we're happy with, much less one that lets us easily share our calendars with each other and keep a joint family/household calendar. Awhile back I stopped looking, because I figure if such a wonderful thing were to be created, I'd hear about it through some channel or another.

I know there are a few things that come close.

Is Equal Parenting a Myth?

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

I was raised by two feminists. My mother earned a CPA and MBA in her 30s and launched a hard-core career in university administration. My college professor dad had a more flexible schedule and did much of the hands-on child care during my grade-school years. He moved twice in order to support my mom's career advancement. Their marriage served as my model of gender equality.

When I got married, I assumed that my husband and I would be completely equal and take different household roles interchangeably. It hasn't worked out exactly that way. If anything, having children has convinced me that the equivalence of men and women is a myth.

Friendship

By Tanya Bunich

Recently I have been struggling on where to send my son, Sammy who is 10, for school next year. I have three kids and they are all in a small private school in Baltimore, Md. Last year, against his wishes, I moved Sammy, from an all boys private school he was in to join my girls in the co-ed private school they are all in today. I moved him because there were over 28 kids in his class and it made it hard for him to learn. It's easier for him and most kids to learn in a smaller class (it cost me $1400 for that confirmation). Reading comprehension and math are harder for him, he needs to be able to visualize in his mind what he is doing in order to understand and a large classroom makes it tougher. It happens to be that I am a big believer that most traits in our kids, positive and negative are genetic, as this one is no different. My brother and I also grew up with the same learning difference, the only difference is back then, we just got bad grades, were labeled as underachievers and it didn’t cost my parents $1400 to have us "officially" tested, we SURVIVED!!! and are far from underachievers today.
What does any of this have to do with relationships? 

One Box of Pasta, Two Cheap Retro Suppers

By Laura Holland

When it comes to putting supper on the table, there is no point in reinventing the wheel. These days, when we are all pressed for time and money, it really pays to pull out the classic meals from our own childhoods.

Here is a fail-safe blast from the past: fish cakes and spaghetti (see also here). My parents loved this as kids, my husband and I loved it, and now it is a hit in my home, too. It is cheap, delicious, and quickly made from stuff already in your pantry.

TV Wars: What's Wrong with Zach and Cody? (Part Two)

Family Friday at Mom Spa

by Jenny Douglas Vidas

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

When making decisions, we rely on the information at hand.  If we discover later that our information was faulty, we need to recognize and admit the mistake, then change course.  This lesson applies at the macrolevel (for instance, certain conflicts in the Middle East) and the microlevel (parenting). 

I will now confess that allowing my seven-year-old son to watch The Suite Life of Zach and Cody was a Bad Idea.  When last I blogged, my son was guffawing in front of the TV, basking in the semi-illicit thrill of a previously forbidden show.  

Children's Autonomy and Privacy Online

Technology Thursday

Social networking activities - weblogs, Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, LinkedIn, and many other similar services - are no longer the province of tech-savvy computer geeks, if they ever were.   I was comparatively late to Facebook, but among my "friends" there are my childhood pastor's wife, an executive at Amazon, and a couple of my Aunts, not to mention the usual cadres of high school and college buddies and current friends, acquaintances, and a few work connections.  In other words, a broad and diverse set of individuals all privy to my random and silly Twitter feed, which I send over to be my status messages on Facebook.

Privacy has always been a significant challenge when it comes to such services and there are various tactics and approaches to dealing with how much information is revealed and to whom.

The Many Phases of Working Mom-hood

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

I never doubted that I would work outside the home after having children. My mother worked, both my grandmothers worked and when my first baby was born I had my dream job -- national correspondent for a large chain of daily newspapers.

So I've been surprised to experience my desire to work wax and wane over the last five years. At times I questioned whether I'd be happier as a stay-at-home mom and I cried during my commute to the office. During other periods, I couldn't wait for someone else to take over child care so I could put ideas in print that were burning a hole through my brain.

Three Most Common Relationship Mistakes

By Tanya Bunich

Photo courtesy of assbach via Flickr

As we enter a relationship our partner soon becomes our everything. The one we count on for emotional support, we make him our best friend and expect that he will be the net that is always there to catch us when we fall. WOW!! Sounds amazing, right?  I’m in!!!

Then one day, we wake up to reality and our prince charming, our everything, fails us for one reason or another. Either he didn’t understand what we needed or he was too busy at work or just didn’t care.

Naturally, we get upset and the next person we see, we start babbling…can you believe he didn’t care that ….and that marks the beginning of relationship problems.

Soup-er Charged Easy Healthy Suppers

By Laura Holland

We try to have a hearty vegetable soup at least once a week. With crusty whole-grain bread and a salad, it is an easy, healthy supper that my family loves.

Rich in vegetables, beans and whole grains, these soups are inexpensive, filling, high in fiber and vitamins, low in calories, and kid-friendly, too. Vegetables that my son would normally reject are happily gobbled up by the steaming bowlful.