CurrentMom

FCC Broadband Plan is Out

Image via Wikipedia

Technology Thursday

I'm traveling this week and had my first experience of using the Internet from 35,000 feet while on a plane equipped with "Wifi on board!" After the novelty wore off, it felt pretty routine - a way to try to do some work while crammed into a tin can next to dozens of other grumpy and occasionally smelly people. I took a little bit to take a look at the new Broadband Plan that the Federal Communications Commission just issued. From the FCC press release:

Titled “Connecting America: The National Broadband Plan,” the Plan found that while broadband access and use have increased over the past decade, the nation must do much more to connect all individuals and the economy to broadband’s transformative benefits. Nearly 100 million Americans lack broadband at home today, and 14 million Americans do not have access to broadband even if they want it.

Here's the Plan itself. There are lots of interesting components. From a blogger perspective, one that may be of particular relevance is the chapter on civic engagement. This part of the plan recommends:

• open and transparent government
• a robust digital media ecosystem, including possible amendments to the Copyright Act
• expanded use of social media
• increased innovation within government
• modernizing democratic processes

All of these sound good, but as always the details matter. And, this is just a set of recommendations, so it remains to be seen what will be acted on. Other topics covered in the report include health care, education, energy and the environment, economic opportunity, government performance, and public safety.

PC World offers a quick rundown of some reactions to the plan as a whole, and they are decidedly mixed. And some probably read it into what they expected or wanted to see, as opposed to reading the text of the thing itself, which often happens with these sorts of documents. Although, having not read, much less digested, the entire report yet myself, I'm really the pot calling the kettle black here!

Honey, Where Are All The Working Moms? (with a nod to The New York Times)

Work Wednesday

If you've had your fill of the firestorm set off by Sunday's New York Times style piece, Honey Don't Bother Mommy, I'm Too Busy Building My Brand, don't worry. Read on.

This is not another tirade against what many "mommy bloggers" have termed the Times' snarky, sexist, and patronizing coverage of women's "new media revolution." (If you do want to check out the criticism (some deserved, some not), you can read some  thoughtful pieces by bloggers Mom-101, Pundit Mom, and Kelby Carr here, here, and here.

But it is a rant.

And it is about the article. But it's not about what the article said. Or implied.

It's about what it didn't say. Or cover.

It's about working moms. And their absence from the mainstream media. "Where are the working mommy-bloggers?"  Not in the Times' article. And not in most other mom-focused articles.

What Are You Tolerating?

Truth Tuesday

I am one of those Moms who alternates between feeling that I have everything gloriously under control to knowing in my gut that my life (like everyone else's!) is as messy as they come.

That said, I do pride myself in being on top of stuff. To Do lists, regular car oil changes, never running out of milk, signing permission slips way before they are due  -- the stuff of every-day life that can totally overwhelm and bury us if we don't stay on top of it. 

Yea, I got that covered.

And yea, I have been known to pat myself on the back for getting "stuff" done. Sometimes I judge the success of my day or my worthiness as a human being by how far down The List I was able to make it.

So that is why it hit me hard a couple weeks ago when I realized just how much I had let go. How much I wasn't attending to. How much I was tolerating.

Ug.

I am all about living full-out and playing big. Tolerating -- that's not for me. That's for people who may be OK with mediocrtiy. But not this girl. Not this control freak!

Right!

Right?

Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months: a Book Review

Startup Sunday

So many people dream of becoming an entrepreneur but have no idea how to translate the fantasy into action items. In her new book Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months, Melinda Emerson has written a comprehensive road map to take you from the entrepreneurial concept to the launch party. This remarkably clear and readable book serves as an indispensible checklist for any would-be small business owner.

At the very beginning of Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months, Melinda Emerson, an author I like personally and admire professionally, douses any entrepreneurial daydreams with a bucket of much-needed cold water. Being an entrepreneur means hard work and sacrifice for the potential of rewards in the distant future.

It can take 12 to 18 months to break even and three to turn a profit; moreover, one in three small businesses close their doors within the second year, she warns. You need your family's support, the entrepreneurial mindset and faith to sustain you through the lean months -- or years -- on the path to success.

Next, Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months takes you through the key steps to opening a small business: writing a life plan, financial plan and business model as well as finding professional services, drafting a marketing plan, branding, lining up financing, building your team and setting up shop. The writing is easy to digest and follow, with user friendly bullet points, section headings and action steps at the end of most chapters.

Morning Breakfast Musings

Sharing Saturday  

As I pour the 3 millionth serving of bad breakfast cereal into my son's bowl today, I consider the areas where I have fallen down as a parent. All the things I swore I wouldn't do, all the ways I wanted to be better than my own parents, all the healthy improvements that have been made since I was growing up (Tang, anyone?)

And there it is – a giant bowlful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, staring me in the face. Rebuking me.  Reminding me that just three weeks ago I vowed never to buy it again. I was going to stick to the healthy breakfast cereal aisle, at the very least. If I wasn't going to make my kids a wholesome, Donna Reed-like breakfast every morning, at least they would have whole grains and organic sugar in their cereal bowls.

I bounce back and forth between thinking that the way we parent today is far superior to the way I was raised, when "parent" wasn't even a verb, and quietly believing that my folks had it right in many of their assumptions, including a healthy dose of benign neglect.

My mother never made pancakes or eggs for breakfast. I didn’t even learn about the pleasures of greasy eggs with toast until I went away to college and discovered the local diner. Breakfast in our house was always a bowl of cold cereal and, if I was lucky, I could sneak in an Oreo or two without my parents' knowledge. 

Talk to Your Teenagers about the West Memphis Three

Family Friday

Issues like potty-training and temper tantrums have dominated my world recently, but this week I'll address a much darker topic, one more germane to those of you with adolescents.  You may have heard rumblings in the media lately about the "West Memphis Three", as celebrities, including the usually media-avoidant Johnny Depp, have argued that something smells rotten in the state of Arkansas.

Basic facts: On the evening of May 5, 1993, three eight-year-old boys, Stevie Branch, Michael Moore, and Christopher Byers, disappeared in West Memphis, Arkansas.  They were found brutally murdered the next morning, tied up and discarded in a creek.  Three local teenagers, Damien Echols (age 18), Jessie Misskelley (age 17), and Jason Baldwin (age 16) were identified, tried, and convicted.  Because Misskelley and Baldwin were juveniles at the time of the crime, they received life in prison; Echols received a death sentence and is currently on death row. 

On what evidence were these teenagers, now known as the West Memphis Three, convicted?  Drum roll…

They were kinda weird.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Generally distrusted by townsfolk, Echols dressed in black, sported ugly hairstyles, listened to Metallica, talked back to teachers, and did not behave as a Southern gentleman should.  And Baldwin?  Well, let's see, he and Echols were friends.  Oh, and he owned a huge collection of black T-shirts.

OK, I'm being facetious – there was a little bit more.  The conviction was based almost entirely on a confession from the third adolescent, Jessie Misskelley.  Questioned for hours without an attorney or his parents present (huhhh????), seventeen-year-old Misskelley eventually produced a confession to the crime that implicated Baldwin and Echols – and himself.  Trouble was, the details he offered didn't really match the physical evidence.  No matter.

With an IQ of 72, Misskelley tested just a few points above the "mild mental retardation" range (and just below Forrest Gump's score of 75).  Have you ever known someone with a developmental disability – perhaps a family member or neighbor?  If so, you probably know that, like the fictional Gump, such individuals often get little positive feedback outside of their immediate family circles.  Unlike Gump, however, who magically stumbled from one astonishing achievement to another, adolescents with developmental disabilities may be particularly starved for positive attention, and therefore very eager to please.  Making friends and avoiding trouble typically rank high on the priority list.

I worked with a client similar to Misskelley in cognitive ability.  This young woman often found herself in extremely dangerous situations due to her difficulty saying no to others.  No, I would emphasize, you do not need to perform sexual favors for someone because he held the door open or complimented your clothes.  No, you do not have to give people your credit card information just because they ask for it.  She would nod her head in agreement, but then buckle when it came time to assert herself.

At one point, we even did role plays in which I pretended to be a strange man offering her a ride.  Although she held a flashcard that read "NO, THANKS," denying this fake request proved almost impossible for her.  After much rehearsal, she could say "no" two or three times in a row, but when I became more persistent, she couldn't hold out.  I can tell you that, in a situation like Misskelley faced, this woman would have lasted ninety seconds tops before coughing up whatever the police wanted.

Now consider Damien Echols, town misfit.  Echols, now 35, agrees wholeheartedly that his demeanor served as his worst enemy during the trial.  Trial footage shows him rolling his eyes, making weird faces at the camera, and generally acting like an ass.

But when I watch this footage, his expression conveys to me "This is bullshit!  These people are stupid!  This can't possibly be happening."  I'd wager that many of us had a bit of that Damien Echols attitude as adolescents.  I know I wore similar expressions on many occasions (although granted, the stakes were never quite this high).

The jury and much of the public, however, interpreted his behavior to mean "I am completely without remorse and couldn't care less about those three little brats."  How much easier that made it to give him a death sentence!

So what on earth does any of this sorry mess have to do with you, as a parent?  In my opinion, plenty. 

Traveling with Toddler and Technology

Image by Lyn Millett via Flickr

Technology Thursday

Last summer I wrote about all the technology we loaded into our car for a week-long road trip to visit family. We are gearing up for another such road trip and once again technology is playing a huge role, although this time as part of our preparation and planning. The biggest piece of technology is the vehicle. Last year I mentioned the prospect of "the dreaded minivan" and yes, we now have one of those. We bought it with these long road trips in mind because of how cramped and crowded we felt in our smaller car last time around. So in just a short while we'll be putting the van through its paces as we head out on the highway.

That's probably the most expensive piece of technology we've deployed to get ready for this trip. But there have been several others techie tools we've been using, in addition.

Pizzazz and Policy: The Oscars and the Obamas' International Women's Day

Work Wednesday

While everyone I know was watching the Oscars on Sunday night, I was busy doing all sorts of mundane stuff. Like rooting through the closets to find the kids some spring clothes that fit. And editing a dense document I'd been avoiding all week. Oh, and figuring out how to lose 10 lbs. and look 20 years younger before my law school reunion in six weeks. (More on that next month.)

Usually, I enjoy critiquing the fashions on the red carpet and waiting up for the Best Picture award as much as any one of the other 41.3 million Academy Awards viewers. (That's the number for the U.S. only!) But given the typical babysitter-to-movie cost/satisfaction ratio, I managed to miss every nominated movie this year. (My husband did see Up with our six-year-old daughter.) So, I didn't tune in.

But I did check out the video of Monday's International Women's Day celebration hosted by the Obamas. There were some actual entertainment stars. Like Kerry Washington. And American Idol singer Katherine McPhee. (See some photos here.) But mostly the stars were political celebrities of the Washington type -former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, current Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton, members of Congress, and, of course, the Obamas themselves.

Now, I know most of you wouldn't put the White House's International Women's Day event in the same glam category as the Oscars. Even though I work in Washington, I wouldn't, either. But both were notable International Women's Day happenings.

It's So Easy to Complain -- Why Nothing Gets Done

Therapy Tuesday

I'm writing this post as I'm participating at a conference devoted to leadership.  I have the privilege of attending this conference as my state Psychological Association (of which I'm a board member) is covering the cost. Fittingly, this conference, called State Leadership Conference (and hosted annually by the American Psychological Association) occurs in Washington, DC and culminates in a day on Capitol Hill.

One of the recurrent themes that we are talking about, is how on a state level, advocacy seems to be the responsibility of a few, but the demand of many.  As psychologists, we are interested in this disparity: the ease of voicing complaints, but the echo of no action following. The apathy of many. These themes resonated for us during the dinner that my state delegation had. We expressed frustration, as the attendees are the ones that take advocacy seriously. Others seem to expect that others will enact change without them. The major problem with this expectation, is that this individual takes no ownership when change comes, and will complain that the change is not the kind that they might have orchestrated.

In the age of the Internet, there isn't the excuse of it being too hard to get involved. While our system is far from perfect, it does allow for involvement. There is the common concern that one voice doesn't matter. With political posturing seemingly like a norm, especially in the wake of health care reform, one voice is an uphill battle. So how many voices equal a chorus?  In a chorus, there are no soloists--no single voice heard, but the message comes out clearly, with harmonies that express all of the complexities of that message.

How can you get involved? It is so much easier than we think. And here I get back to the ease of the Internet.

Send an email. You can do this on a local level (your city council); a state level (your legislature); or a national level (your Senator or Congressperson). 

Make a phone call. The numbers are available on-line.

Make a contribution. Even $10 a month, spread out by a mass of people can equal large sums of money quickly.

Visit your local or national representatives.  They will welcome you, as all politicians realize that you put them there.

Vote.

One voice has power. And if you only use it to complain, you are correct: nothing will change.

Photo by: dcJohn

Easy and Healthy Chicken Parmesan Recipe

Meal Monday

For dinner tonight I made stove-top chicken parmesan. This easy recipe is healthy and quick, and most importantly, it's delicious. I like to serve it with an arugula salad to set off the richness of the chicken and cheese. To make it really satisfying, I add a bit of rice or pasta to sop up the sauce.

Most chicken parmesan recipes want you to fry the chicken then bake it in sauce. Some even start with breading the chicken before frying. These steps add calories and extra time, neither of which I need on a busy weeknight.